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Hello I am Charli Penn and today on Essence Live John Legend dishes on love, marriage, and his upcoming Essence festival appearance and our editors explain why they're super passionate about Netflix chewing gum. But right now, it's time for the hot list. The biggest stories you're buzzing about today. [MUSIC] [SOUND] [CROSSTALK] Who's Adele? Who's Adele? [SOUND] And kinda find out it was pay drop. Yap, after all the drama on this season are raw speaks of Eleanor it was miss speaks of Jesus and so who started the rumor about Kendy wanting to join Drug and rap Porsha. Shaking my head. After part three of the reunion aired, Candy told bravotv.com that she was surprised Phaedra would quite "go so low". Being an attorney, you would think she wouldn't intentionally spread defamatory, False statements about someone. The sad thing was that she didn't even seem sorry for what she had done. Hm. [MUSIC] Can we talk about all the black girl magic that was on display at this year's Met Gala? I mean is it even possible to give out a best dressed honor? Carrie, Tracie, and Solange all took sheek to a new level. Meanwhile Serena's stunning on them in that emerald green gown with her boo and her baby bump. But our girl Rhianna, girl, simply gorgeous. We see you Ri Ri. But who do you think was the best dressed? Let us know in the comments. We're just gonna let this Tweet from our girl Brittany Packnett, sit right here. Hash tag JordanEdwards, honor roll freshmen, 15 years old. Shot and killed by Balch Springs, Texas police. He matters. And now, Texas police have changed their story about exactly what happened That night Jordan was leaving a party that had gotten a little out of hand when police suddenly fired into the car he was riding in. But according to the BBC police are now saying that the car Jordan was in was actually driving forward, not aggressively towards police when they shot him. What is going on. We talk about this issue all the time. We protest, we write to our elected officials. But how do we cope with all this madness? Essence Live fam, weigh in. [MUSIC] What do you do to stay happy and stay sane in light of constant news of gun violence towards black people? Let us know right now using hashtag Essence live because we're talking about it next. It's Tuesday, May 2nd and Essence live starts now. [MUSIC] [BLANK_AUDIO] Welcome to Essence Live, the hottest digital live show for Black women. I am senior Lifestyle editor Charli Penn, hey there. Now feel free to use #Essencelive. Or email us at Essencelive@essence.com, if you ever want to come on the show, to sound off on topics live. As mentioned in the hot list we are beyond overwhelmed with the constant news of black people being gunned down for everything from being at pool parties to just walking home with some skittles. And now there's a story of 15 year old Jordan Edwards who was shot and killed by Texas police while leaving a party. So today's question is this What do you do to stay happy and sane in light of constant news of gun violence toward black people? Joining us now to talk about it with us via Skype, our ESSENCE Live viewer, Shivan Messiah and the co-creator of Black Lives Matter, Alicia Garza. Yeah ladies welcome to the show. Hey, thanks for having us. Thank you guys so much for coming on. First thing's first, [UNKNOWN] let's start with you. When you hear of stories like Jordan Edwards, what do you do to coup? Do you come into work in black? Binge watch favorite movies? You just kind of vent with friends? What do you? First and foremost I have to take a minute to myself. A lot of the times when you read things off of the social media, they get skewed. I have to do my own research and kind of figure out what's going on, absorb it and process it. Once I have the whole story I pray first and foremost. And then I kind of just sit back and let my emotions hit me. A lot of times we also kind of fight emotions that come with it or we try to ignore them and that's not what we need to do to kind of positively address this. So first and foremost, pray and then. Time to just process. And I think what you're saying is we have to feel something. Definitely, whatever we're feeling, we have to go with it. Alicia, you've been on the front lines of protesting this type of violence as an activist. How do you personally stay sane while fighting for our rights? Well the first thing for me I think Savanna ids totally right is just allowing yourself to feel. We get so much of this news all the time through so many different channels that it can create a level of apathy. There's so much information coming at us at all times that And it is important to take a minute and just really feel and be in your feelings. But the other thing that's really necessary for me is to keep fighting. So it can be disheartening in moments like this when we see yet another black person gunned down for absolutely no reason. But what we also know is that the only way to change that dynamic is to fight for our lives. And so for me the way that I channel that rage, that anger is in so love for my people. And that love gets expressed through the work that we do at Black Lives Matter and then other spaces throughout the movement. Absolutely. But Alicia, how do we know our protests are effective? Well, the thing I think is important for us to understand is that change doesn't happen quickly. Change happens over a long period of time. If we were even to look at the civil rights movement most of what we hear are about things like boycotts and launch counter sit ins. But what we don't hear is that the last period of civil rights. Really lasted over a span of 40 years, 40 years is how long it took for us to get a voting right act 40 years is how it took for us to de-segregate schools and restaurants and other public accommodations and so when we look at this latest iteration of the movement, we should just be clear that we're four years in and so we have to be prepared to be apart pf a long struggle. At the same time we can do a lot of different things to win important victories along the way. One of the things you mentioned at the top of the show which is making sure you're in touch with your legislatures and people who are making decisions on your behalf. We're currently under an administration That has blatantly said that they are deprioritizing accountability for police officers, like this one, who murdered a 15 year old in cold blood. And so we need to make sure there is pressure being put on Attorney General Jeff Sessions, and on the Trump administration, to make sure that each and every person's life in this country is protected, upheld, and valued. [MUSIC] Absolutely, I agree. We need to definitely apply the pressure. Shavonne, what are some of the conversations that you have with your friends and family? Do you feel like you guys are numb? I think it just kind of depends on the person. When it comes to your friends and family, you have to realize who's ready to have a conversation, who's not I have a conversation or I try to bring it up as much as possible. Some people aren't ready for the conversation and I don't want to force them because that's when you bring those feelings out that people aren't ready to handle. I think that also having these conversations with people who may not know exactly what's going on shows them Our point of view. I work at company that basically doesn't really have a lot of other people of color. So they may not understand exactly the feelings that we go through. And having those conversations like within the organization helps them to understand what we're going through. Even though it's kind of hard for anybody to understand, even ourselves. But having those conversations are necessary whether people understand it or not to help them understand. Absolutely, and my next and last question is for both of you I think when all of this happens it can feel like, its not okay for us to have fun, right? There's so much going on in the community, there's so much pain. Everyday is a different story. We don't feel right just relaxing and letting loose or doing anything other than being part of this movement. Is it okay for us to take a moment for self-care? To just have a little fun in light of whats going on? Would you like to answer first?>>Sure. It is important for us to continue to be able to find joy in our everyday lives. And the thing that I worry about sometimes in our conversations about self care, is that it's so individualized. Yes there are things that we need to do for ourselves To be in our full dignity everywhere that we go. But we also know that we're not the only people as individuals who are being impacted by daily onslaught of news about our murders. And And so it's really, really important in times like this to be connected with community. Sometimes talking about what you envision for a world where black lives actually do matter can be healing, it's the thing that actually helps us move forward to the next stage. And so yes, take care of yourself, do what you need to do to find your dignity, to feel how you're feeling But also don't so that in isolation, do that in community and in relationship with other people who also need that support and also need that love. Absolutely, thank you [UNKNOWN] and [UNKNOWN] I think it's not only important, it's necessary. But taking care of yourself is the first step to being able to fight for our rights and making sure that we're on the right mental space to do so, and And just Alicia said that with a community, Alicia actually came to one of my organizations conferences in October and spoke with us. And I think that conversation that she and the others had was Was so vital and I make sure I spread that message regularly because it's necessary to be able to have that conversation with others and be able to share their emotions. They may not be able to process in telling their story or you telling their story may give them the courage to be able to process it and express those emotions and move them forward in the necessary fight that they need to be a part of as well. Thank you both so much for on and sharing. We really appreciate your time. Thanks for having us. So up next, Kayla? Hey. What's good? What's going on on Facebook? Lots of comments. So we asked earlier, what are you doing to cope in light of the recent shootings against black people? Mm-hm. Quincy [UNKNOWN] says, it's hard. I just have to find my community. Find what I can do to make the world better. Linda Danson and Rachael Tumiri says, attend to Jesus trust and pray. And Dave says prayer and faith to GOD as in control. Gabriel Lang says you hold yourself and begin educating. Tony Brooks says sing much and pray for long so that remember prayer without work is in vain. Well, keep your comments coming for today's question of the day which is, how do you stay sane and happy in light of constant news of gun violence against black people? Don't forget to use hashtag essence live to sound off and we'll read the results later on in the show. Now coming up we're talking politics, music and fatherhood with Essence festival performer, John Legend. But first, who's watching Chewing Gum on Netflix? I am, I'm only on episode three so bear with me, but everyone's addicted and I am too, but our editors Sydney and Lauren, they love it. Watch. [MUSIC] I think that religion and sexuality played a big part in this show, impact because of her mom. In her mom is yes a little crazy. Don't forget dinner. My gosh yes, okay. But she just wants the best for he daughters and she wants them to be saved, but there's a line. Yeah. In saving that she often crossed, and that comes to a head in this season when the lady from the Union, mission thing? She's just like, I guess a council worker, and I don't know. Shuts down her church, but I think that the mom, like a lot of our black moms, they prey over us, they want us to live wonderful, happy lives. She just was crazy as hell. Yeah, I also love that in this season. We got more about her mom and also the fact that we explore the fact that her mom doesn't have really an identity aside from her children and religion. Jesus is her main priority. Yeah. Like number one, head of her heart and soul, household and everything. Only man that matter this. When Boy Tracey shows up. [CROSSTALK] First of all, let's talk about the sex party that boy Tracy. No, no, no, no, no And then ejaculates in the swimming pool. In the swimming pool. [LAUGH] It was so embarrassing. He had one job. Just not in the pool. [LAUGH]. [LAUGH] He is a hot mess. He was a hot mess last season now. And when he came back, I was really nervous and I was holding my breath. And it just took a turn that I wasn't expecting. Yeah- Because- He comes back and he's like I don't have a crush on him anymore. I don't want you anymore, I don't need you. I'm older than my cousin. I'm gonna have sex with a whole bunch of women. And then he was like, I just don't bring myself to completion because I'm saving it for my cousin. That's so weird like, Boy Tracey, you cannot hook up with your cousin. It's 2017. Maybe in 18 something you could have, but not today. Not today. It wasn't okay then. It's not okay now. The world is full of people. Move on, bro. Not ever okay. [MUSIC] You're watching Essence Live. I'm Makho Ndlovu and our next guest has many titles. SInger, actor, producer, and daddy to the beautiful Luna, please help me welcome John Legend to the show. Hey John. Thank you. How are you? So good to be here, I'm good. Yeah, first we gotta talk about that baby. Yeah. Baby Luna. Luna. You know we have the same birthday, April 14th. You do, April 14th? A couple years between us. A few. A few. [LAUGH] [LAUGH] But how is that experience, [CROSSTALK] personality. It's been so good, it's been one year and We've had such a good time just watching her grow. We were just going through all the photos on her birthday and looking at how much she's just grown in this twelve-month period. And it's been incredible. What is her personality like? Does she take More after you or Chrissy? I think it's both. I think, well everybody knows kind of the basic Bible, who I am. And the basic Bible, who Chrissy is. Chrissy is more exciting and dynamic and fun. And I'm more laid back. And I think she has a little bit of both. Mm-hm, what about her music? Is she showing nay signs of like playing the piano? She dances a lot already. She bobs to music. [LAUGH]. She will try to play the piano with me. She'll sit up there with me all the time. And it doesn't sound good at all right now. [LAUGH] But she's trying. Well give her time. And she likes it. You can tell she engages with music. So, that's exciting to see. [INAUDIBLE] I hope I can influence her. [LAUGH] In the right direction. You still have some time. Yes [LAUGH]. But speaking of which, you have a couple years until she She is like, ready to date boys and all that. A couple. [COUGH] A couple yeah, that mans she's only one, right? Yes. What would you teach about men? I want her to be smart and independent and a good leader and to have emotional maturity But these things take time to develope and I'm not want us people to say please you have to kep your daughters in straight jack and let your boys run free. [LAUGH] But I'm a feminist, I don't believe that women to have [UNKNOWN] And shouldn't be shamed for, you know being curious about sex and dating and all these other things that humans do. Yes. And so I feel like when the time is right we'll try to guide her and help her make good decisions, but she's gonna have to make her own decisions at some point. Well I'd say you guys are doing a great job already. She's a year old but you're doing a fantastic job. We're trying, we're trying. [LAUGH] So with the baby now in the In the mix. You and Chrissy have such an incredible relationship. We just love you two together. How do you keep the love going with just all the craziness happening? Well, I think you have to start with the basis of just respect and love for each other. And when you have that foundation, then you try to make everything work. Because there's always gonna be challenges, there's always gonna be difficulties. Whether you're famous, whether you're not famous, there's gonna be difficulties in your relationship. And you have to start with the foundation that you believe that the relationship is worth working for and worth saving no matter what and so that's how we feel about it and We're committed, we wanna stay with each other forever. That's so cute! And we wanna raise a big family. And we're committed to doing that. And we're gonna work through whatever challenges we have. I follow you both on Insta and on Twitter. And she's clapping, she's the queen of clap back. Like hey, nobody saying nothing about Chrissy Tiegen and Legend. [LAUGH] She let's a lot. But she'll call out certain people. And we always talk about how she has a sense of justice. Yes! Where she wants people to know what they did wrong. And so she will mete out justice sometimes on Twitter. Yeah, so now what makes you clap back? Is there anything that? Well, a lot of times I'm trying to have a conversation. So For instance, when we were involved in election season, a lot of people were going back and forth about what was going on in the election and arguing about certain policies that they believed in. And just about the character of the different candidates. And I like to have conversations. Sometimes I'll be a little smart Alec with it. But most of the time, I actually just want to engage people and say Why do you think this way? Right. I want to know why you think this way and I want to change your mind. Right, but it's so crazy with the trolls, though. Trying to actually engage them and talk to them. People just want attention. Yeah. And now we know that a lot of them were actual bots that were planted by the russians to confuse the conversation and to Make it more negative. And so, now you have to be careful that you're not arguing with some, tweeting you from Moscow. Exactly. [LAUGH] You wasted like 20 minutes arguing with a person. You're not even the person that actually, a voter that's concerned about these issues. You're just trying to sabotage things. And it's such an interesting time in our country right now, with the new Presidency and all these issues And I know that you are involved in a lot of activism. What are the issues that are most important to you? Well the things I focus most on are ending mass incarcerations. So thinking about our criminal justice system and how to view it better or how to make it more fair, more just, more compassionate when it's appropriate and smarter in some ways too. So That's one of the issues I care a lot about. We started an organization called Free America, which is devoted to that. And then we started an organization before that called Show Me Campaign which is about, thinking about ways to fight poverty through education, educational reform, improving instruction for our young people, giving them more options. When it comes to good schools and good instructions. Education is key. And there's a lot of stuff that you guys do. I remember doing the [INAUDIBLE]. I believe you fed some of the protesters that were there. Yeah, we were actually in New York. We fed some of the protesters in New York. It was after Aaron Garner I believe. But it was all kind of coming on heels as what happened in Ferguson. And we've been in touch with a lot of activists and we want to find ways to support them. And we continue to be engaged in that way supporting a activist,amplifying what they're saying and their voices and trying to make sure [UNKNOWN] We use our celebrity to actually impact what's happening on the streets, and doing it in a positive way. I love that. When I saw that story, I was like, okay, instant fan. [LAUGH] I mean, I was already a fan before, but that made me love you guys. It was my wife's idea, so. It was. It was her idea. Wow. She was engaged with certain people on Twitter that were involved in the protest and saw that they were opportunities to help and she loves food and. Yes she does. Food is her way of you know making the world better and making the world more beautiful more interesting. Interesting and she wanted to contribute in a way that was close to her heart which was food and then support the cause of the people that were marching in the streets. Well you mentioned you are an actor. Yes. Producer, a signer, which one of those is challenging or which one are you most passionate about out of those three? I'm most passionate about making music. I think it's something I've been doing as a kid. It's something I love to do and I feel most in my element when I'm creating music.>>Yeah.>>Or performing on stage. And I'm excited to go on tour.>>Yeah.>>This spring. Doing just that and actually ending>>Yes.>>Essence.>>That Essence Fest. We're so excited about it.>>I'm so excited. THat's gonna be the last show of the North American Tour. We'll be in New Orleans at Essence Fest and this will be my third or fourth time playing Essence and I think it'll be our best time because the tour's looking really good right now.>>Yeah.>>And we're excited to bring it.>>Are there any special guests>>I'm working on it. I gotta do something Especially for New Orleans. Especially for New Orleans- Yeah. Yeah. I feel like there's gotta be some special- We gotta do something. Yeah. We're working on it now. [LAUGH] I got some calls out. You got some calls out? [LAUGH] Okay, so we gotta stay tuned. Yes. Even more reasons to go. So, one of the things we definitely have to talk about before I let you go, is your friendship with Kanye. Yeah. And how is that, and how is that being [INAUDIBLE] lately? We good. We We just hung out for Easter. We, our families are friends now. Krissy and Kim are friends, and you know we're both raising young kids now. So it's kinda cool to have seen both of us grow up from the days when we were just young hungry bachelors. Trying to make it in the music business and tour together, making music together, and now we're veterans in the game. Yeah. And fathers and husbands and it's a new era in our lives. Yeah. But we're still friends. I have the utmost respect for his artistry. Now, how do you think of some of the criticisms that he faces cuz Kanye gets a lot in the process. Well, he. Yeah. He has not been afraid to tell the truth as he sees it. Mm-hm. And he knows that that will cause controversy sometimes and he's okay with it. Yeah. And I think he is being his honest, authentic self. And you know if people disagree with them they can feel free to disagree. I disagree with him sometimes. I was about to ask you John, I was about to say do you ever call him out on certain things. You know I'll mention it sometimes. And be like hey Kanye wait a minute. But you know it's not for us to always argue in public about what we think. But we're both speaking our truth, and everybody has the responsibility to listen and decide what they wanna do. Yeah, and that's the mark of a true friendship. We can disagree and still be friends. Yeah, it's like when you have family members that are different from you politically and y'all still have Christmas together and [LAUGH] Easter together Yes. Thanks giving together, you know, that's just part of life. That's part of life. Yeah. Alright, well John now we're gonna play a fun game. Mm, the name of the game is called, "Can he hit it?" and it we mean. Can he hit it. [LAUGHS] Can you hit it. Hey. [LAUGHS] The note. [LAUGHS] And since you've performed at the {INAUDIBLE] festival, we're gonna play some clips so, fellow Essence Festival performance, and you have to try to hit some of the same notes. Are you game? Man, this is going to be tough. [LAUGH] Your own version. No, no, it's going to be good, it's going to be good. Okay, so the first one is from our girl, Solange. Here we go. [MUSIC] That's my falsetto.>>Can you get it one more time please?>> It's like rains in the sky. [MUSIC] [LAUGH] Yes, yes! I love it, I love it! That's a great song, that's a really beautiful song. Isn't that a beautiful song? Great album. I can't wait to see her perform. Next up is the boss herself, Miss Diana Ross. We're playing the same night I believe. Are you really? Come on, all right, let's hear it! [MUSIC] You making it tough for me. You're like->> Why? You gotta keep going. You gotta keep going, John. You got me singing the ladies songs. [LAUGH] And my voice is like down here. No, but that's [LAUGH] [UNKNOWN] about the game but you're doing great. You're doing fantastic. All right, so far, so good. All right. [LAUGH] Now is another Essence Festival performer. This is Monica singing So Gone. Let's hear- With Missy. [MUSIC] [INAUDIBLE] Monica, yes. I thought you were gonna keep going. I thought you, okay. One last one. This is one more from BJ the Chicago Kid who will also be performing at Essence Festival. Let's play it. [MUSIC] I don't know the lyrics. Woo hoo. [MUSIC] That was perfect! I hit the note. You hit the notes so. [LAUGHS] My God, can the game keep going like- Well- That's all we have- I can do this all day.>> Could you- I mean I sing for living You know how to sing. [LAUGHS] Well John thank you so So much for coming by. Thanks for having me. >Now remember you can see John Legend, Solange, Monica, Bj the Chicago Kid, and more 4th of July weekend in New Orleans for Essence Festival. I'm so excited to see you there. I'm excited. Tickets are on sale now and you can get them at Ticketmaster. essence dot com. More essence live is up next. Hey I'm Justice Smith, I play Ezekiel Hi I'm [UNKNOWN] I play Milne Cruz. We're from The Get Down: Part Two, and we're here to describe The Get Down: Part Two in three emojis. Okay, you ready? Number one. Number one. Because it's lit. Right? Because, yeah. That was what we said for this one? That's what we said, yeah. Because it's eye popping and mind blowing, right. And because- It's romantic. It's romantic. You fall in love. That's my lead, that's my girl. [MUSIC] It's pretty significant that you get a relationship where it's like, these two very driven people who are trying to pursue their own path and then also trying to stay together. Also it's very rare that you get a love story where it's like The woman in the relationship is very aspiring for bigger things and can't really be held down.>>So go watch it.>>Yeah watch it now on Netflix. Do it.>>Do it now. [LAUGH] You're watching Essence Live. I'm Charli Penn and today's viewer question of the day is this. How do you stay happy and sane in light of constant news of gun violence toward black people. So before we get out of here, let's check in with you one more time on social Our girl Kayla has been manning our feeds all show long for your responses. Hey Kayla. So, comments came in all throughout the show. This is a a hot topic. It never stops being a hope topic. Definitely. What are they saying? Cynthia Castillo says she steps out on faith. That's all we have left. Shakira Pratt says we need to treat racism like a disease and educate on it. Leah Bland says we need to protest at our local politicians office regularly- Write those letter. Yep, because he says, None of these politicians gives a damn about us. So stop being loyal to a party and look at their actions. That's what they're saying.>>We hear you everybody. We hear you. Most importantly let's just not stop talking about it and not stop having conversations.>>Definitely not.>>But we also talked about earlier, we also talked about the Met Gala.>>Yes.>>Did you see the photos Kayla?>>Yeah did you?>>Yeah I did.>>Quick top three. Rhianna- Okay, you stole one of mine. Because she looked like a human flower. [UNKNOWN] was everything. Did I steal yours? And no one else could pull that off. Only Rhianna could pull that off. I know and I expected her to go big or like- And she went big. She went big. That's the place to do it. Okay, other choices. Priyanka Chopra because she wore- What did she wear? That trenchcoat dress. Okay. The Ralph Lauren trenchcoat dress. [UNKNOWN] for a trenchcoat dress. It was long, it was dramatic, and it was just like Like flowing to the floor to the end of the stairs.>>Like Beyonce ring the alarm. Remember that?>>Yeah.>>And number three?>>That's what it was. Laura Oznez who's a broadway actress and she wore this Christian Sereano gown and it was pink and it was flowy. It was like the inside of a flower. It was so beutiful.>> That was cute.>> She killed that.>> So can we talk about my girl La La please.>> Yes! yes! yes!>> La La Anthony. We know that she is going through some thing on the news. We know whats happening. She came out and she came to slay. It was like black lace, sheer, spider web, almost kind of, I don't know what to call it. It was just drama and fierce. And her caption on the photo? Unbreakable There you go. Woo! Kayla! He came like, hard. And I think everyone can agree that Diddy and Cassie, like it or, love them or hate them- [LAUGH] They never disappoint. It was a moment, it was a moment. When he's like laying back on the stairs and I don't know what, like waiting for her? Or just like take a moment and- They planned that, right? I don't know, but Diddy, that was funny. It was funny. Did you see the meme, Taylor? Well, didn't he comment that he said he was just like, his feet were tired. He wanted to sit down? No, Diddy, you're feet were not tired. You were too posed, okay. We saw you, Diddy. He had his legs crossed. He wanted people to see that he had red bottoms on. So you could see the red. I just loved seeing all the couples too. I just love that everybody made it a date night. Yes. It was like date night at the Mecca. I think Jill did too. She was nice. There was a moment. All right well thank you very much. Thanks to John Legend and all our guests for stopping through. If you missed any of today's show you can catch the replay shortly on essence.com and see all of our videos on our YouTube page. And tune in next week, next Tuesday, at 3:00 PM for an all new Essense Live. I'm Charlie Pin, bye bye. [MUSIC].