Home · News

Brunch and Bond: 3 Things You Realize One Year Out of College

Say farewell to toxic friendships, make mistakes and practice patience.  
Brunch and Bond: 3 Things You Realize One Year Out of College

We’ve discovered the secret to sisterhood. Great meals plus good girlfriends equals amazing conversations that help you grow.

The Spot: Bubby’s High Line, New York, New York
The Menu: James Beard Pancakes with Caramelized Bananas and Toasted Walnuts Bubby’s Vodka Punch, Shrimp Po’ Boy, Grapefruit Mimosas

The Topic: Post Graduation Life Lessons From The First Year

After moving to New York in November, one of my favorite things to do is call on my freshman year college roommate to get together, even if it’s just to share a bottle of wine and a good laugh. (Which at times are all our funds will allow for.) She was the very first person I lived with besides my parents and she put up with all my antics—both good and bad—like it was a walk in the park. While brunching and scrolling through our Instagram feeds, we saw that the class of 2016 was graduating from our alma mater, Syracuse University (the greatest school in all the world), which meant were officially one year into post-college reality. That’s a milestone in itself. While sharing a side of Bubby’s Mac n’ Cheese (which is as rich and mouth watering as it sounds), we talked about life one year postgrad and all the lessons we (think) we’ve learned. Here they are…

1. Patience is Truly a Virtue
I will admit that I’m not the most patient person in the world. I hate waiting in line in the grocery store and my road rage is somewhat of a problem but if moving to and living in New York has taught me anything, patience is a very important thing to have. I spent the first six months post-grad life at home wondering what was going to come next and the anticipation was killing me. Seriously, I felt like I was suffocating and for my friend it was the same thing. For her life, as a native New Yorker returning home hasn’t been a dream. She’s anxious for life as an independent twenty-something, having her own space (which I adamantly remind her is not as fun as any of us imagined). But she’s learning to be patient, to save her money, to enjoy life as an adult who isn’t doing all the adult things (i.e. paying rent, bills, etc.), while I am learning to just enjoy the moments as they come because I’m in city where in the blink of an eye, a great thing can just pass you by.
2. No Need to Hold On to One-Way Friendships
Fortunately, for Brittany and I, we’ve mastered a balance where we can talk about everything from the relationship we have with our single mothers and sending each other new music to giving updates on our love lives and the joys and woes of work. But we have each respectively learned friendships fizzle and there is nothing wrong with that. People we’ve once cried and laughed through life with are no longer the people we once knew. We’ve grown, in different directions, for better or for worse. We’ll always have the memories, of course. Flashes of good times will always come to mind and bring smiles to our faces, but leaving what has since died behind is better than trying to bring it back to life.
3.  Life is Short, We’re Young—We Get to Do Crazy Things.
I am two days shy of turning 23, and I will be honest, as expected, I know very little about life. I never use the word “grown” when referring to myself, because in my mind, I’m still a 5-year-old pretending to be an adult who just so happens to have real world responsibilities. With life as it is, I will take advantage of each fun filled opportunity as they come. I’ll do the new-New Yorker things this summer: walk the Brooklyn Bridge at sunrise, ride a bike through Central Park on a warm summer day, get a hot dog at Gray’s Papaya, head out to Coney Island, embarrass myself at a karaoke bar, drink a little too much and live to tell about it. I’ll drag my friends along, Brittany included, to make memories so that when I look back on life two years post grad, I will have more lessons learned and more experiences to share. 

WANT MORE FROM ESSENCE? Subscribe to our daily newsletter for the latest in hair, beauty, style and celebrity news.