Women often ask men why they just up and stop calling. It’s not right, but it happens a lot. Don’t be discouraged. The truth is, you shouldn’t focus on anything but your individual truth. The man that deserves you is the same man that will love you just the way you are. Unfortunately, not every man is ready to love selflessly. And for some, there are certain personality traits in a woman or circumstances that will either instantly attract or repel him. Here are 10 things he could consider instant red flags.
Men, to a great extent, are governed by their pride. Most would have a hard time getting past the knowledge of you having slept with someone he knows. It does something to his ego. You can’t help this. If ever you’re in this situation, let his pursuit of you be a sign that he is able to handle it. If not, know that it’s OK to move on.
You have a different perspective on life than he does. It’s quite possible that you have seen and experienced life on a level he has yet to get to. You can help to bring him up, but you can’t do it by putting him and his experiences down. Making light of his life’s journey will just alienate him.
More than anything, he wants to be able to confide in you and to be free to share his innermost secrets with you. What he doesn’t want is to be judged. He hates when you try to “fix” him. He just needs you to listen and at times offer some words of encouragement. But treating him like your patient will cause him to shut the door to that part of his heart.
He wants to be needed but he doesn’t want to be your end all, be all. More than anything he wants to make you happy, but he doesn’t want to be the source of your happiness. If you sense that you are losing a bit of yourself in him, take a step back and remember that interdependence is what balances out a relationship.
Get to know him naturally and gradually over a course of time. Don’t resort to watching and monitoring his every move on Facebook or Twitter and trying to decipher what they’re all about. You don’t want to make him feel like he’s being smothered. (Or stalked!) It’s OK to give him some space. It gives him a chance to let his true feelings develop and shows him you have better things to do.
Forget what Kelis told you, no man wants to be bossed around constantly. Men don’t take forceful orders well – especially if they’re not even sure how they feel about you. If he has taken a liking to you, he won’t mind your input or direction. Just remember to smile! Sugar and spice is a powerful combination.
When a man is ready to commit, he is just as interested in what you bring to the table as he is in your outward appearance. Your goals, dreams and aspirations are a turn on for him. The lack thereof will limit his pursuit of you to the surface level.
Consistency is everything to a man who’s falling in love. If you’re up one day, then down the next with no explanation, it will only confuse him. You’re making it hard for him to figure you out and get to know the real you. If your attitude makes him feel like he isn’t wanted, he’ll disappear.
Be a queen, not a princess. Be sure of yourself without a false sense of entitlement. Thinking too highly of yourself will come through in your interactions with him. This will only prompt him to search for a woman who’s more down to earth.
Self sufficient and single minded? Damn that’s sexy! These are things that attract him to you. But, once he’s in, he wants you to let go a little bit. Once he shows you that he is reliable, rely on him. Allow him to meet your needs in a way that only he can.
Let’s talk some more. Be sure to leave questions or comments for me below. Keep up with me over on IfMenAreDogs.com or find me on Twitter anytime. For more advice from me, read 10 Things You Think Impress Him, But Don't.