There appears to be an “unspoken” rule or “girl code” when it comes to dating a friend’s ex. As Certified Relationship Coaches, we often get an inbox on our website asking us for the politically correct answer, what are the rules? Is it ok if you met your friend’s ex a certain number of years after the initial relationship or is it just completely off limits for life? We feel the rules may vary and each situation is different but here is a guideline that may help you determine if it’s safe to proceed.
Overall, we agree it is a case-by-case situation and you should tread lightly. We know there often seems like there is a shortage of great guys out there but that’s not a reason to double up on the same man unless it’s an unbelievable opportunity that lies ahead. It’s always best to have a conversation as adults and gauge your friends feelings very early on. We’re not saying that she has the deciding vote whether you proceed or not but we can tell you that by not having the conversation with her, your relationship with your girlfriend can go left quickly and you may have lost a friend you’ve had a lot longer than this relationship may last. Ask yourself, is it worth the risk?