Still think the idea of cutting designs in your hedges sounds extra? We’ve got proof it’ll drive your man wild. “If my lady did something like that, I would love it,” says Alduan Tartt, Ph.D., author of The Ring Formula: How to Marry Mr. Right (Visionary Minds Inc.). “It adds spice and shows you’re trying to please me. It would make me wonder what interesting things I can do for you.” We asked men for intimate details about your most private parts—and theirs too. Here are the surprising results of our very personal Essence.com survey:

Take it off!
28% of female respondents sport a full Brazilian. 40% of male respondents prefer this look.

He does care.
50% of male respondents would avoid oral sex with a woman because of her hairstyle!

No, thank you! 74% of female respondents aren’t putting hot wax near their va-jay-jay, choosing to pretty her up with a razor or scissors.

Self-service wins!
Only 7% of female respondents go to a salon to maintain their ‘do.

When they ask, you listen.
48% of male respondents have asked their partner to change her style for them. 46% of female respondents abided by their wishes.

He’s doing it too!
63% of male respondents shave or trim themselves.

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