We all know a single woman who constantly says that they are ready for a committed relationship, yet they find something wrong with every man they meet. He’s nice but… he’s not this or he’s not that. Sound familiar? As professional matchmakers and certified life and relationship coaches, we see this happen pretty regularly. But when dating, it’s important to remember that no one is going to be perfect and meet all of your needs. We want to encourage you to relax just a tad and stop blocking your blessings and possibilities in 2018. Hopefully, these tips will allow you to keep your options open and meet Mr. Perfect For You.
We know many women have dreamed of their prince charming since they were young and have that picture in their minds. But now that you’re just a little older, and wiser, it’s time to get over that “one guy” type you pictured and be compeltely open to the fact that The One might look and act differently than you imagined or arrive in a different package.
Start by looking at the overall man first and make sure he meets your top 3-5 non-negotiables. If he does, try to allow a little more time to make a decision as to whether he is a viable candidate before you cancel him over something that may not be the deal breaker you think it is.
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We all love a tall man, but think a little deeper before you cancel a shorty sis. We often associate tall men with more security. There are many other ways a man can make you feel secure besides his height. Don’t let this make you stumble on your road to love.
Six figures salaries are wonderful, but they shouldn’t be a requirement. They can be misleading! He might not manage his money well or perhaps he could be so set on keeping up with The Joneses that he’s just flat broke. Meanwhile, maybe the school administrator, construction worker, or office manager makes a decent living but knows how to invest and has big plans for his financial future — and we’ll get there too. We never know until further investigation, do we? Think about it.
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It’s understandable that you want your first experience having children to be with someone who doesn’t have kids yet, but that may not be realistic or the only route to love. What if he is a wonderful man outside of that and would love you like the Queen that you are just the same? Is it worth being open to the possibilities? We think so. Blended families are very common these days and many are extremely successful.
Do any of us get along with everyone in our family? We agree some of our upbringings were better than others, but if you’ve lived long enough you’ve discovered nobody, and we mean nobody’s, family is perfect. It’s all about what he’s learned from his past and childhood and who he models himself after. Also who he’s accountable to makes a difference too.
So he needs to be handsome, educated, fit, and fun, right? Okay. We all have a list of things the right partner needs to be, but consider that he might have a list too. Do you have the traits he’s looking for in a girlfriend or potential wife too? Consider that the decision to be in a successful relationship will be made on both sides.
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Sometimes over time it’s easy to fall into the trap of being more concerned about getting everyone else’s approval before you even give yourself a chance to see what you think or feel about a potential partner. Determine what you actually NEED in a mate and trust yourself first.
He doesn’t have to be the sexiest man alive to be The One or attractive. If he makes you happy every time you’re together and he’s a pure gentleman, does he have to be put into or even stay inside the friend zone? Do a test and ask yourself whether you would be bothered if a beautiful top-notch woman came and swept him off of his feet, claiming him confidently as her King? If you feel a little uneasy you might be missing an opportunity for your happily ever after.
Sisters, we need to keep it real with you out of love…lots of women have been choosing mates this way for years and guess what, many are happy and in a relationship and eventually marry a good guy too. When choosing a mate, you should consider peeling back any preconceived notions you may have about what the “perfect guy” should be and really look at a potential mate as a silhouette with no face, only attributes. Is he kind, respectful, marriage-minded, goal oriented? Starting today, if this has been you, stop limiting yourself and loosen your reigns just a little bit. Don’t let being too picky keep you from enjoying a wonderful gift that just might be delivered in a different box. Here’s to LOVE!
The Matchmaking Duo