As relationship coaches and professional matchmakers, one thing we didn’t realize when we started our business is the number of people who are missing the basic tools to help them find love on their own. One of the main tools to master is flirting. Webster’s describes flirting as “behaving as though attracted to or trying to attract someone"...
Couple the need for flirting with the fact that many of our male clients tell us that it’s often difficult to know where they stand during the beginning stages of dating due to lack of feedback or communication. We thought, now there’s the problem. In response, we started a really popular workshop called Good Girls Do Flirt to fill this need and bridge the gap to help those seeking a relationship to get over the hump and get out there as a flirting machine. Here are 10 reasons we know that flirting matters. Take notes!
If we hear that one more woman has landed in the “friend zone” because he never knew she was interested, we are going to scream! If you want to make a move, we like to recommend that you start acting like his “girlfriend,” by flirting from day one with terms of endearment. Trust us, his friends aren’t greeting him with a warm hug and calling him “babe” or “hun”.
We sometimes believe that men just roll out of bed in the morning bursting with confidence and have no apprehension whatsoever when they want to approach you. But, much to the contrary, they sometimes have to build up to asking you out or for your phone number and that’s only if there’s enough time in passing to get it out. But if you’re smiling, making eye contact, and sending him positive vibes, he becomes more comfortable pursuing you, which is a win/win for everyone.
We’ve shared it before, and we’ll share it again: Men tell us the most attractive attribute is a woman’s confidence. If you’re willing to make your interest known to him, it shows that you are sure of yourself and serious about where this could lead.
Throw on some red pumps, find a great dress, update your collection of perfume, stop by the makeup counter and find a new lip color. When you feel your sexiest, it shows, and being at your best helps you give off flirtatious vibes before you even say a word.
…that’s easy and light-hearted. Many of our clients tell us that they have a difficult time being vulnerable early on in relationships either due to being hurt from past relationships or not being comfortable with the “getting to know you” stage. Flirting helps to give him that reassurance that you’re interested, even when you need a little more time.
…and that you aren’t always serious. Often times women have powerful positions or are running successful businesses while some may be single moms or juggling multiple tasks, and could be perceived as too serious when they are actually bursting with fun and excitement, but he just can’t see it. Being fun and flirty helps you show a more personal side of you that he’s been dying to see.
… and get instant feedback. It’s ok to celebrate your femininity to show him you’re attracted to him while smiling, looking and smelling great, giving compliments, and playing coy. You’ll immediately get a response from him that the attraction is mutual and that assurance will help the two of you to continue moving forward.
Even throughout marriage! The cutest thing ever is to see older couples who have been married for 40+ years still flirting with each other. This shows there is still fire in the furnace. Keep it fun and spontaneous for years to come.
Spring Into The Moment
These days, with more technology (cell phones, social media, etc.), online dating, the pressures of work, and others who don’t hold commitment in high regard, it is so easy to be faced with distractions. Flirting lessens the probability of getting off-track and keeps him focused on you because he’s never quite sure what to expect next. Keeping things spontaneous helps his mind to stay laser focused, so when he’s faced with a choice, he would rather choose you.
Whether you just met or you have been together for years, it’s easy for the relationship to lose steam and fizzle out. Dropping a love note in an inconspicuous place or whispering in his ear how handsome he looks will keep the momentum going.
As we enter into spring, make every effort to try something new and spring forward into love. If you know that your flirting skills aren’t where they need to be, and you’re missing opportunities, it’s ok. It only starts with making a few changes, and with some effort, you’ll be well on your way to being prepared next time Mr. Right is in plain view. Or if you’re already in a relationship, start today by giving him a compliment or an extra wink. With everyone upping their flirting game, you’ll be glad you did and so will he. Here’s to LOVE!!
Fisher Gilmore Matchmaking is an exclusive agency of "heart hunters" led by The Matchmaking DUO™ (Kelli Fisher & Tana Gilmore). They provide matchmaking services personally designed to accommodate busy, successful professionals who are seeking long-term love. They pride themselves on giving their clients a lot of what they want, and even more of what they need. For more advice from them visit their site or follow them on Facebook or Twitter.