Here’s the situation: He just caught your eye and you like what you see. You really like what you see. As you watch him do his thing you become more and more intrigued. There’s something about this man that makes you want to walk on over and say hello. But you don’t. You want to, but you feel like it would be the wrong call to make. Why? Single woman are so often encouraged to “take it slow” and “see what happens” when it comes to dating or meeting men. Conventional wisdom tells us that being too forward or too available sends the wrong message to a man. Does it?

I believe that the same confidence we love to see in a man is what also turns him on about a woman. The summer is here and as the weather gets hotter and hotter, so will the eye candy you see in your travels. Should you sit back and watch the man you’d like to share an encounter with walk on by because it’s his job to come to you? I don’t think so, ladies.

You can approach a man without coming off as easy or desperate. If you want to get to know him, go do so. He may not be all you imagined when he opens his mouth, but don’t you owe it to yourself to at least try? I have so many single girlfriends who talk about men they almost met once. It saddens me to think that there may or may not have been a love connection there, but they’ll never know because of fear. If making the first move isn’t normally your speed, that’s one thing. But if you are outspoken and flirtatious by nature, why are you holding back? Because society makes you feel bad about wanting what you want? Don’t let it.

You can get to know a new man on your terms and still be a class act. Being the initiator of the conversation doesn’t mean you give up any power over how things will go should you two start to date. That’s a myth ladies; you can still set the pace.

It’s what you say when you approach him that could make you look bad not the fact that you came over at all. Introducing yourself and saying you’d like to get to know him better, or asking if he’d like to hang out later is perfectly fine. Telling him you want him so bad and you’ve been known to be a bit freaky at times probably isn’t the best approach. See the difference here? If a man sees a woman he really wants a chance to get to know, he will make his move. We must channel that notion, as women who believe in taking control of our own destinies. Don’t walk away with a story about what you would have done. Instead, walk away telling your girls how you did it.

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