I know Black women take pride in saying exactly what’s on our mind. But, girlfriend, sometimes we should hold our tongues. The next time your man asks a question you can’t answer honestly without fracturing his ego, sidestep the truth with these quick-witted answers…
“Baby, am I the best you’ve ever had?”
He’s good, but he’s not better than your ex who used to do that thing that gave you flashbacks while driving to work the next day!
He’s good in bed, but not better than your ex! Still, you can’t tell that to your new man. Instead say, “Since I’ve been with you, I don’t even think about being with another man, past or future. I’m sprung on my present.” It’s guaranteed to work, and it will buy you some time to teach your new boo your old man’s tricks.
“Don’t you just love my mom?”
“No, I don’t care for her.”
Before you scream “Hell to the naw!,” keep quiet. Instead try, “I appreciate everything about your mother that made you who you are—the man I love.” P.S. Even if she gets on his nerves and he complains, zip the lip! Forced to choose between you and his mom, he might just pick her.
“How many men have you been with?”
Ladies, this is a question with a no-win answer. If your intimacy quota is very low, he may think you’re a prude. If the number is high, you’re the freak of the week. Simply respond with, “You’re not my first, but if you take care of it right, you will be my last.” It takes the pressure off you and puts it on him to outperform the others—which is excellent for you!
“Honey, how old are you?”
There’s no shame in the number of years that have made you the fabulous woman you are. Still, you’re entitled to keep your age to yourself—just get creative. If you’re in your thirties or forties, tell him, “I’m old enough for you.” And if you’re more mature, respond with, “I’m old enough to know how and young enough to still want to.” Sassy responses will keep him intrigued and on the hook.
Do you want to break up?
As you know, most women plan their exit down to the very last detail! By the time our man finds out it’s over, it’s old news to us. We generally start planning our exit about a year before our boo is brought up to speed. While working out your exit strategy and he starts to get wise to the truth, and asks if you want to break up, simply say, “I want what is best for the both of us. I want us to both be made whole in this relationship.” It’s tender and dramatic AND it will buy you a little time while you’re still sleeping with the enemy!
Ladies, we all know that honesty is the best policy, and the truth will shame the devil and make us free. We also believe what doesn’t come out in the wash, will come out in the rinse. These ideas are very noble but may not be practical when the rubber meets the road.
Every now and then, the men we entertain simply can’t handle the truth! With that said, you need to have a few colorful responses (okay, a few lies!) to fake it till you make it. It’s the only thing a real diva can do. Get into it!