Attraction is very primal. We’re attracted to “good looks.” That said, you never know when you may meet that special someone at the supermarket, gas station or on the street. If you always look your best, you’ll always stand the best chance of securing a date.
Men love a woman with confidence. Be sure to smile, keep your back straight, listen attentively, walk with your shoulders back and speak slowly. This will make you seem confident, even if you are quivering with nervousness inside.
Nothing kills chances of a kiss, or a second date, like bad breath. If your breathy conversation has been malodorous, chances are your date will likely extend you a hand at the end of the evening. Visit the dentist regularly, practice healthy brushing habits at home and always carry mints!
If he’s 5-10 minutes late, he may be pulling a Diddy, and trying to make an entrance. However, 10 minutes plus, with no phone call, is simply rude. Multiple incidents like this show you exactly how much respect he has for your time.
This rule will be debated for the next 1000 years, and for the next 1000 years the answer will be the same. If he’s a gentleman, he’ll offer to pay on the first date (regardless of who asks). If he doesn’t, it doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy, but it does mean his chivalry skills are lacking.
We should all know that having good manners and saying “please” and “thank you” never ever goes out of style, especially on a date.
Don’t rush sexual intimacy. Early sex is one surefire way to ruin a relationship. Make him prove his love for you before you get intimate. This rule is gospel!
Don’t make excuses! If he doesn’t call after the first date, he’s not interested. Move on. Creating a fantasy is a waste of time.
Don’t accept requests for late meetings with your new guy. If he has respect for you and your time, he will make plans for a more decent dating hour. Otherwise, beware that he’s only looking for a booty call.
Avoid fidgeting with your hair or clothes; this signals insecurity. Remember that only one third of communication is about the words you speak.
Avoid criticizing his mom (or yours). This will cause anyone to become defensive – or view you as not being family oriented – which is popular non-negotiable.
People like people they can’t figure out in one evening. Don’t divulge too much and keep your dates short. Short dates will keep him longing for more.
Drama is avoided when we tell the truth. There must be a balance you strike with this rule and the former because omitting the truth is also lying.
If you find yourself having the “what do you want to do tonight” conversation on the first, second and third dates, chances are, he’s just not that into you.
Even if you can fart Amazing Grace without missing a beat, avoid boasting about this on your first date. Trust me, even if he is crass with his boys, he will find vulgarity unappealing in the woman he is dating.
Do not be discouraged when it seems that your dates have never lead to anything meaningful. That’s what dating is about — going out with new people to get to know more about your likes and deal breakers and to get better at your own social skills. Your prince is out there!
Modern technology has provided a million and one ways to contact potential dates – email, text, Facebook message, and by tweet to name a few. No matter how far technology advances, the phone call will always be the best way to connect (aside from in-person). All methods other than by phone are simply not as brave, direct or clear.
Actions speak louder than words… PERIOD!
When they show you they are vulnerable, that’s when they show you they’re in love. He has let his guard down to let you in.
Comments, concerns or questions about my advice? Tell me about it below! Paul Carrick Brunson is a 2012 NAACP Image Award nominee and a 2012 iDate Matchmaker & Relationship Coach Of The Year nominee. His bestselling book It’s Complicated (But It Doesn’t Have to Be) is in stores now. Contact him directly on Facebook or Twitter anytime or visit his website.
