On a first date, thanks to nerves, anxiety, and just the sheer unknown of meeting someone new, it’s very easy for things to go awry. But there are ways to from a bad date and get another chance to get to know each other. As professional matchmakers we can get you there. Here are 10 common awkward scenarios we hear about and how to save them.
When you’re on a date, especially in the early stages, it’s best to put all mobile devices away, ignore non-urgent calls, and resist the urge to check your social media. If your date let you know they felt a little jealous of your device, it’s not too late to make it right. Initiate second contact and let him know that you realize you were entirely too preoccupied on your last date. Be sure to tell you him that you’d love to see him again, and this time he will be the only thing you’re focus on. Flatter him and take ownership of your distractions.
So you went out on a date and were so nervous that you talked way more than you normally do, and after you left you realized he never got a word in edgewise. There’s nothing wrong with calling him up, letting him know you really enjoyed meeting him, and that the next time you’ll be all ears. Now that he knows all about you, you’ll be even more interested in getting to know him. Date #2 anyone?
Maybe you two decided to meet for dinner and drinks and you were having such a great time you ended up drinking one (or three) too many drinks. First take a moment to analyze your drinking habits to determine if you do need to cut back overall. If so, make a change. If this was an isolated incident, we know it’s easier to fade into the darkness and never to be seen or heard from again, but everyone makes mistakes. Call, don’t text, and explain that you had a great time with him. Apologize for going too far with the drinks and that it was an isolated incident. Ask for a second chance to get to know each other—your treat!
Nervousness can sometimes produce overactive sweat glands and leave your armpits, forehead, and palms extremely sweaty. (And there’s nothing you can do about it.) Most people know if they are prone to this, so apologize in advance and let him know that once you are comfortable, it is manageable. If it’s already happened, just be honest and let him know you were really nervous and it happens. Try to plan your next date where there is less pressure and more air, like a movie theater or a stroll outside). Wear a cotton undershirt if you can and keep a cute handkerchief or napkins in your purse, car and pockets.
You’re so good at talking to the people you know best, but then on a first date you can’t seem to find the words you need to say. Don’t just give up, go home and bury your head in the pillow. Instead, close your eyes, dial his number, admit that your nerves got the best of you and maybe even make a joke about it. Make plans again for a couple’s or groups activity in an environment with a little less one-on-one conversation, like rock climbing or a cooking class. That way you can focus more on the activity and learn about each other in between tasks.
So you went out and somehow you wound up on a touchy relationship topic and you divulged more about your past relationships than you hoped you would. Switch gears next time and talk about what you learned from past relationships, not what you’re still hurt or upset over. Let him know it’s over and you wish your ex well, then let that be the end of it. Ok?
When you meet someone you really like, it’s easy to come on too strong. We’ve heard about everything from women sharing when they plan to marry to what their future kids names will be. Before you can finish your thought, he looks as if he wants to run for the hills. Let him know that you were really excited to see how much you all had in common and you may have taken things just a smidge too far. Share your willingness to slow down the pace and request another date to start all over again.
Does this scenario sound familiar? You thought he wouldn’t be your type, so you just threw on anything. Now you meet him and he’s dressed to impress and you haven’t brought your style A-game. Don’t fret. When the date is over, send him a follow up thank you message and attach a photo of you looking your most fabulous self. He’ll appreciate the visual.
Remember that everyone makes first date mistakes. You’re human. The key is facing them and not losing a great opportunity with a good guy because you don’t want to be vulnerable. Don’t worry. You’ve got this. We’re rooting for you….here’s to LOVE!
Ok, so it’s been a minute and he was really cute. The sex appeal and chemistry got the best of you and then one thing led to another an you wound up in bed. You need a dover and you can course correct. Let him know you don’t normally have sex on the first date and you want to take time to get to know each other. Propose another date, and this time, communicate that the location should be a place where neither of you will put yourself in a situation where you would compromise self-control.
Fisher Gilmore Matchmaking is an exclusive agency of “heart hunters” led by The Matchmaking DUO™ (Kelli Fisher & Tana Gilmore). They provide matchmaking services personally designed to accommodate busy, successful professionals who are seeking long-term love. They pride themselves on giving their clients a lot of what they want, and even more of what they need. For more advice from them visit their site or follow them on Facebook or Twitter.