• Celebrity
    • Celebrity News
    • ‘Yes, Girl!’ Podcast
    • Entertainment
    • Black Women in Music
    • Black Celeb Couples
    • Celebrity Moms
    • Red Carpet
  • Fashion
    • Fashion News
    • Street Style
    • Accessories
    • Fashion House
    • Fashion Week
  • Beauty
    • Beauty News
    • Skin
    • Makeup
    • Color Files Podcast
    • Nails
    • How-To
    • Beauty Carnival-Archive
    • Dope Stuff On My Desk
    • Girls United: Beautiful Possibilities
  • Hair
    • Hair News
    • Natural
    • Relaxed
    • Transitioning
    • Weaves
    • 4C
    • Spring Hair And Beauty
  • Love
    • Love & Sex
    • The Solve Podcast
    • Weddings
    • Parenting
    • Relationships
  • Lifestyle
    • Lifestyle News
    • Coronavirus: Everything You Need to Know
    • Health & Wellness
    • Holiday Gift Guide 2020
    • Unbossed Podcast
    • ESSENCE Eats
    • Money & Career
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Travel
    • Food & Drink
    • Black Travel Guide
    • Currency Conversations
    • Your legacy
  • News
    • BLACK VOTES MATTER
    • Latest News
    • Raise Your Voice
    • Culture
    • Politics
  • Videos
  • Events
    • WELLNESS HOUSE: YEAR OF RENEWAL
    • LEVEL UP: Entrepreneur Summit (DEC 2020)
    • Power Tools
    • SHE GOT NOW
    • Girls United Summit
    • Making Moves Now: Virtual Bootcamp
    • #EF SESSIONS
    • Dear Black Men
    • Cares Act
    • News & Announcements
  • Festival
  • Subscribe
  • Essence Studios
  • Girls United
  • NaturallyCurly
  • Shop Essence

Follow Us

Skip to content
  • Essence Studios
  • Girls United
  • NaturallyCurly
  • Shop Essence
  • Celebrity
    • Celebrity
    • Celebrity News
    • ‘Yes, Girl!’ Podcast
    • Entertainment
    • Black Women in Music
    • Black Celeb Couples
    • Celebrity Moms
    • Red Carpet
  • Fashion
    • Fashion
    • Fashion News
    • Street Style
    • Accessories
    • Fashion House
    • Fashion Week
  • Beauty
    • Beauty
    • Skin
    • Makeup
    • Color Files Podcast
    • Nails
    • How-To
    • AVEENO® Skin Health Startup Accelerator
    • Beauty Carnival-Archive
    • Dope Stuff On My Desk
    • Girls United: Beautiful Possibilities
    • Beauty News
  • Hair
    • Hair
    • Hair News
    • Natural
    • Relaxed
    • Transitioning
    • Weaves
    • 4C
    • Spring Hair And Beauty
  • Love
    • Love
    • Love & Sex News
    • The Solve Podcast
    • Weddings
    • Parenting
    • Relationships
  • Lifestyle
    • Lifestyle
    • Coronavirus: Everything You Need to Know
    • Health & Wellness
    • Lifestyle News
    • Holiday Gift Guide 2020
    • Netflix’s Jingle Jangle Gift Guide
    • Unbossed Podcast
    • ESSENCE Eats
    • Money & Career
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Travel
    • Food & Drink
    • Black Travel Guide
    • Currency Conversations
    • Your Legacy
  • News
    • News
    • BLACK VOTES MATTER
    • Essence 50th Anniversary
    • Latest News
    • Raise Your Voice
    • Culture
    • Politics
  • Videos
  • Events
    • Events
    • WELLNESS HOUSE: YEAR OF RENEWAL
    • LEVEL UP: Entrepreneur Summit (DEC 2020)
    • Power Tools
    • SHE GOT NOW
    • Girls United Summit
    • Making Moves Now: Virtual Bootcamp
    • #EF SESSIONS
    • Dear Black Men
    • Cares Act
    • News & Announcements
  • Festival
  • Subscribe
Home · Relationships

11 Signs You're Really Not Feeling Him As Much As You Think

Sometimes when we’re dating, we realize we’re just going through the motions. Here’s how to tell if you’re not as happy with him as you appear to be.

By Tana Gilmore and Kelli FIsher · June 30, 2015October 27, 2020
01
Your Time Together Is Irritating

You finally decide to give him a call because you were lonely and desired companionship. After the first 30 minutes, you immediately realize that you don’t like the way he chews his food, gulps his drinks or talks with food in his mouth. You’re thinking, “there is no way I could ever be with him for the long haul.” Okay, then don’t.

Getty Images
02
You Keep Checking The Time

You tried to engage in intellectual conversation or find some similarities in things you both like to do, but it’s just not working. Now you are finding yourself thinking about everything else you have to do at the office or the piled up laundry at home instead of being in the moment with him. Problem!

Getty Images
03
You’d Rather Be Out With Your Friends

You’ve chosen your friends once again! We always encourage each member of a relationship to have their own hobbies and their own life because it just makes your time together much stronger and more interesting. But, if every single time there’s a choice to spend time with him or your friends and family you choose them over him, let’s face it: You’re just not that into him.

Getty Images
04
You’re Only Physically Attracted To Him

He’s tall, dark and handsome. He’s everything you’ve imagined in the man of your dreams until he opens his mouth. Lately you realize at that moment, you can’t do anything with him. So what do you do? Continue on day after day or cut it off now? Option two!

Getty Images
05
You Don’t See Him In Your Future

Things were going well until he started talking about the two of you making plans for the future and suddenly the hairs on your neck start to curl and you get that uncomfortable feeling in your gut trying to think of how you can squirm your way out of the conversation politely. Yeah, he’s not The One.

Getty Images
06
You Don’t Always Feel Like Taking His Calls

When you see that he’s calling you, if you have to take those few extra seconds to think, “Should I answer this?” or “I wonder what he wants” then you might as well send him to voicemail because he’s not keeping you happy. When he’s “The One,” you’ll see his number, immediately smile, and always pick up when you can.

Getty Images
07
You Keep Him Away From Friends and Family

It’s often pretty easy to invite someone you’re seeing around casual friends or even coworkers.  But the deciding factor is when you find yourself making disclaimers on his behalf before he arrives saying things like “ he’s no looker” or “we are really just friends.” That’s the opposite of a good sign.

Getty Images
08
You Avoid Calling Him Your ‘Man’

He’s constantly introducing you as his lady or girlfriend but the thought of returning the favor makes you uneasy. If the butterflies aren’t there, maybe he shouldn’t be either.

Getty Images
09
Your Mind Keeps Drifting To Another Guy

You’ve gotten into a comfortable routine with him but when you catch yourself daydreaming at a stoplight, your mind is on someone else. Will your new man ever live up to what you had in mind?  If not, he’s certainly not Mr. Right.

Getty Images
10
You Won’t Clear Your Schedule For Him

Let’s face it: We make time for the things and people that are most important to us. If you haven’t cleared a day in your calendar for him in the last two weeks, he’s clearly not a priority. Stop pretending that he is!!

Getty Images
11
Your Relationship Is Volatile

One minute the two of you are madly in love, and the next you’re screaming at each other like two archenemies. This shows either a real lack of communication and nothing but an even bumpier road lies ahead.  Make sure you know whether this relationship is built on love or lust.

Getty Images
12
Now What?

Now that we’ve given you a few of the signs that you may be dating the wrong guy, what do you do? You may decide to move on so that you don’t waste time or energy building on something that will be harder and harder to get out of as time goes on and things get comfortable. Or, you might decide you’re enjoying the company and you both know where you stand.  The choice is yours, but these are points to ponder.  Either way we’re always rooting for love. Cheers!

Getty Images
13
Meet The Matchmaking Duo

Fisher Gilmore Matchmaking is an exclusive agency of “heart hunters” led by The Matchmaking DUO™ (Kelli Fisher & Tana Gilmore). They provide matchmaking services personally designed to accommodate busy, successful professionals who are seeking long-term love. They pride themselves on giving their clients a lot of what they want, and even more of what they need. For more advice from them visit their site or follow them on Facebook or Twitter.

The Matchmaking Duo

Read More

Op-Ed
Biden Should Add 'The CAREN Act' to His List of Executive Ac...
News
An Inauguration Day of ‘History and Hope’
Ledisi And Columbus Short To Play Mahalia Jackson And Martin...
News
Rihanna, Reagan Gomez, And More React To Trump Being Out Of ...
Entertainment
Twitter Wants Janelle Monáe To Be The Next Willy Wonka, Her...
COMPANY INFORMATION
  • Our Company
  • Customer Service
  • Essence Ventures
  • Change Your Address
  • Contact Us
  • Job Opportunities
  • Internships
  • Media Kit
  • tag
SUBSCRIBE
  • Newsletters
  • Give a Gift of ESSENCE
  • Magazine Tablet Edition
FOLLOW US
MORE ON ESSENCE
  • Home
  • Love
  • Celebrity
  • Beauty
  • Hair
  • Fashion
  • ESSENCE festival

ESSENCE.com is part of ESSENCE Communications, Inc.

Essence may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.

©2021 ESSENCE Communications Inc. All Rights Reserved. | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Essence.com Advertising Terms

Get The ESSENCE Newsletter and
Special Offers delivered to your inbox

By clicking Sign Up, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Get The ESSENCE Magazine
by subscribing below
subscribe now