Love is patient, love is kind… and it is also stubborn. Love will not surrender to you. It is your duty to surrender to it. It won’t come how or when you expect it to. Nor will it arrive in the package that you have predesigned in your mind. We do ourselves a disservice by attempting to make love fit our own agenda. Be flexible. It isn’t about lowering your standards. It’s about increasing your awareness. That’s where I can help. Here are ten types of men in your life that you may have already overlooked.
Confession: I had to get over my own “nice guys finish last” complex here. Every woman that I have every sent flowers to, turned out not to be as interested in me as I was her. Talk about a deterrent! In all seriousness, when a guy has genuine interest, he can’t help but to show it. Enjoy the gestures and relish in the thought put behind them, because you are worth it. Don’t dismiss him by labeling him “too nice.”
He’s smart, funny and you guys have great conversation. That sounds like chemistry to me. Close friends know you in a way that your partners hope to. Not only do they know you, but they accept you too. Don’t totally close the door to love just because the relationship’s origin doesn’t have a romantic link.
So many of us fall into the trap of measuring a person’s quality by whether or not they possess a college degree. Don’t let this be you. A degree, or lack thereof, doesn’t define who a man really is. His passion, ambition and proven track record will all serve as a memento of his character if you allow it to.
We’re living in 2013 and this brother is still driving a car from 1998? Let me guess: You don’t want him picking you up? Don’t let his “vintage” ride make you run away. At times in life, women can get so caught up in material things that they forget about what’s most important: Substance! What if he’s just a real penny pincher or skipped a big auto buy in favor of helping out a sick parent or putting himself through business school?
It’s OK to have your dating checklist, but don’t overlook a good person just because he has a kid. Pay attention to how serious he takes fatherhood and watch how he raises and nurtures his offspring. A little observation in this area can tell you what kind of man he really is, and it might just be the kind you’ve been looking for.
Plenty of Black men freely date outside of their race and if you desire to, you should too. At times, dating can become a numbers game. It’s best to give yourself more options, not less. Love is colorblind.
Enlarge your dating pool by expanding your acceptable age window. By focusing less on age and more on maturity, you increase your chances of getting the results you desire.
Some brothers are more in touch with their feelings than others. It’s highly possible that his feelings for you may develop faster than what you are ready for. Instead of brushing him off, pace him while being encouraged by him actually being aware enough to be able to express his feelings clearly. (That can be rare when it come to certain men.)
For some, swagger is wearing their pants so low you can see their underwear. For others, swagger may be a great job with benefits. If you permit the culture to define swagger for you, you will be stuck with what accompanies that definition. Let swagger be a symbol of the characteristics that you desire, housed in the man of your choosing. It’s OK to be cool. It’s cooler to be an individual.
Sure, there is nothing quite like a tailored suit, and that corner office can be attractive. But please be careful not to become so enamored with status that you overlook the essential qualities that will ultimately help cultivate and maintain a healthy relationship. Remember, his current position isn’t necessarily a prophecy concerning his future potential.
Let’s talk some more. Be sure to leave questions or comments for me below. Keep up with me over on IfMenAreDogs.com or find me on Twitter anytime. For more advice from me, read 10 Things You Think Impress Him, But Don’t.