Most of us understand how to practice meditation by now. You know, close your eyes, breathe in and out, sit up comfortably with your legs crossed, and focus on your breath. However, there’s a different type of meditation that many may not know about that can benefit them in the bedroom, orgasmic meditation. Orgasmic meditation, or “OM” for short, is a wellness and sexual practice combining mindfulness, touching, caressing, and pleasure. According to the Institute of OM, this practice is to designed to harness the sexual impulse, combining arousal and meditation for long-term, sustained changes, and it isn’t about climaxing; it’s more about taking the underlying energy, anticipation, excitement and using it to flourish and finish, think of this practice as the next step in your foreplay routine. OM is supposed to create a safe space for both partners to open up and feel sensations in their bodies. The partnered experience includes stroking the clitoris for 15 minutes consistently, with a few goals to open up, feel, and connect with your partner.
The stroking is intentionally specific. To achieve optimal pleasure, a partner should stroke the upper-left quadrant of the clitoris in an up-and-down motion gently. This act allows the receiving partner to be more at ease and relaxed, allowing their guard to be let down in the bedroom. According to Dr. Donna Oriowo, licensed sex and relationship therapist and founder of AnnodRight, orgasmic mediation can help you to be present and at the moment with yourself and your sexual partners, helping you to get more attuned to what feels good in your body and to allow it to take up more space.
Dr. Jacqueline Sherman, licensed clinical psychologist and certified intimacy and relationship coach, believes that OM can help women to build up their mindfulness skills with the goal being focused on bringing attention to the present moment while experiencing pleasure. In other words, this practice helps us to invite in and enjoy pleasure without guilt or shame attached.
OM can also allow women to become more familiar with their sexual needs in the bedroom, designing their archetype of sexual pleasure detached from patriarchal culture, expectations, and gender norms. “OM is a way women can use their orgasm and climax to train the brain and the nervous system to connect to their sensuality at a deeper level. People who practice OM report experiencing greater happiness and less stress and anxiety. They also may experience more satisfying connected relationships,” Sherman tells ESSENCE.
She continues, “For many, the practice of OM challenges sexual scripts, patriarchal culture, and gender norms. It also offers a new way of thinking about sexuality and female pleasure.”
Aside from the mental health benefits of OM, the practice can also help your confidence. Having the opportunity to bring forth connected pleasure to your partner or receiving that said pleasure, though understanding how bodies work, can instantly be a mood booster.
Additional benefits of OM from the Institute of OM:
- Deepens joy and intimacy by fusing meditative attention to sexual arousal.
- Addresses a significant trauma symptom (emotional numbness) and depression and dissolves feelings of isolation, disconnection, and loneliness.
- Participants report a reduction in cravings, including for food and alcohol.
- Potentially improves emotional regulation.
- Induces mystical or heightened experiences of peak human flourishing, feelings of “oneness” or “flow.”
- Brain changes that can lead to strong emotional bonds.
How should one practice orgasm meditation? Here are Dr. Oriowo’s tips:
I recommend starting with meditative masturbation since masturbation is a mindfulness activity. It allows you to build up a solo practice.
Speak to your partner about what orgasmic meditation is, and make sure that the parameters are outlined and that you have given and received consent.
Be sure to have lubricants ready, clean hands, and an environment that feels comfy.
Carve out protected time in your day to do this– be sure to check in after for any aftercare that may be needed.