Intimacy Intervention: ‘Will Getting My Butt Done Make Me Sexier In Bed?’
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Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams gives love, dating and self-esteem advice on the CW’s Bill Cunningham Show and all over the web through her hit web series AbiolaTV. Now she wants to help you keep things spicy and fresh between the sheets. Are you in need of an intimacy intervention? Just ask Abiola!

Dear Abiola,

I am super cute, intelligent, with a good job but I’ve never been married. I don’t want kids, but I do want a man. I am single, 37, and my goal is to make this upcoming year my sexiest year ever!

I’m feeling kind of dissatisfied with my looks and I am considering getting a Brazilian butt lift. I got breast implants 2 years ago and now I look lopsided and top heavy. My ex-boyfriend encouraged me to get my breasts done and then he felt like I look lopsided. I have always had a pancake ass and I really should have gotten my butt done first. I thought that when I got the boobie implants that was going to make a big impact in my love life but it really didn’t. Then somebody was telling me last week that the magazines are now saying that boobies are played out and I’m like, I just got these!

So once and for all, what is the sexiest and hottest body type for a woman? Your answer will help me decide whether to do the butt lift or not!

Buttless in Baldwin Hills

Dear Sacred Bombshell,

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My darling queen, your letter has me thoroughly confused. Are you talking about 31 Flavors or your beautiful body?

Your beauty is not a flavor of the month situation where one day you are in and the next day you are out. Let the media say what it will, but you are fearfully and wonderfully made 365 days a year and on leap years, too. You cannot base your opinion of yourself on what anyone says. The only authority on your beauty is you.
Your issue is not your butt or your breasts. Your issue is your self-esteem. Until you love all of you, you will attract men like your ex who feel that you are not enough. That’s not sexy at all! The media will tell you lies and stories about your skin, your hair, your body, and your features, but you have to love you.

If your letter said, “Abiola, I feel good about my life and myself but I may be interested in cosmetic enhancement,” we would be having a different conversation. It is a healthy woman’s right to choose what happens with her body. However, you have a very unhealthy attitude about yourself.

In my humble opinion, you don’t seem mentally healthy and stable enough to make this decision right now. Please go see a therapist and write back in and let us know how it goes.
As for how to have the sexiest year ever, check this space in a few weeks. Just as with your breasts, a perfect butt is not going to make you magically find Prince Charming, make you more intelligent, or happier.

I wish you abundant heaps of self-love.

Passionately yours,

Courtesy of Abiola Abrams

Blogger, author and life coach Abiola Abrams

Abiola Abrams is the founder of The Bombshell Academy blog, online school and web series over at AbiolaTV. Follow her on Twitter to continue the discussion about this week’s hot topic, and then email her your burning questions now. Anything you send will be posted anonymously, promise.