Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams gives love, dating and self-esteem advice on the CW’s Bill Cunningham Show and all over the web through her hit web series AbiolaTV. Now she wants to help you keep things spicy and fresh between the sheets. Are you in need of an intimacy intervention? Just ask Abiola!

Dear Abiola,

This has been a rocky year for my boyfriend so I want to do something special for him. We’ve been dating for about 10 months now and we are very much in love. He is very religious but we have been “having sex out of wedlock.” His words, not mine.

I want to get him something really sexy for Christmas. What would be a perfect sexy gift for a good Christian man? To be clear: I need sexy, not raunchy.


Not a Nun

Dear Sacred Bombshell,

The difference between sexy and raunchy is a subjective one. One person’s sexy is another person’s raunchy. Keep this in mind as you select something fun for your boyfriend. I am guessing that adult toys or movies may be off the list for him — but again, I don’t know him, so this is all subjective. 

4 Sexy (not raunchy) holiday gift ideas for your religious man:

1. Lingerie is always a good way to go. What keeps this from being an every day suggestion is by you changing up your game. Do something completely different from what you usually do. Perhaps you can give him a catalogue or go to a lingerie site and have him pick out what he wants you to wear for him. Go to an exclusive lingerie boutique together in your city. Have sexy panties made with his name of them. Maybe if it isn’t too extreme for your man (only you would know) get some sort of costume and try a little role play. You are playing adult dress up.

2. Fantasy play can be a spicy gift. Is there something that your man would like to try that you’ve been resistant to? A fun gift could be a night where anything goes or you’re into trying something new– as dictated by him. Maybe you have “anything goes” coupons elegantly printed up and you wrap them in a gorgeous box. Sure, the romance of it may be more appealing to you than him, but let’s be real: done right, a sexy gift is for both of you.

3. A couples massage can be hot. You can schedule you both having massages in the same room by equally sexy masseuses. You pick the genders. You may choose to go to a spa or hire a service where the spa comes to you. Be sure to take your boyfriend’s comfort with you being naked with strangers into consideration when planning this date.

4. Pen your own erotic adventure. Write out a steamy, creative tale starring you and your boyfriend. Be very detailed and specific. This is a fantasy story so anything goes. Got it? Describe everything you enjoy about his looks, his sexy body, and the way he touches you. Meow!

It has been a challenging year for him so maybe you want to gift the entire list. Again, everything here is a gift for you as well. Good luck, have fun, — and happy holidays!

Passionately yours,


Courtesy of Abiola Abrams

Blogger, author and life coach Abiola Abrams

Abiola Abrams is the founder of The Bombshell Academy blog, online school and web series over at AbiolaTV. Follow her on Twitter to continue the discussion about this week’s hot topic, and then email her your burning questions now. Anything you send will be posted anonymously, promise.