Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams gives love, dating and self-esteem advice on networks from MTV to the BBC and all over the web through her hit web series AbiolaTV. Now she wants to help you keep things spicy and fresh between the sheets. Are you in need of an intimacy intervention? Just ask Abiola!
My boyfriend hates the noise that my vagina makes during sex. Basically, my vagina farts or burps the whole time we are doing it. It is embarrassing and now I have found myself avoiding intimacy because he laughs at me and insists I make it stop. He says the noise is “nasty,” “disgusting” and “gross.” How can I stop this?
I tried lube and it doesn’t work. And now I really do feel gross and disgusting.
Dear Sacred Bombshell,
Thank you for your brave letter. You are experiencing what is commonly known as “queefing.” Basically, the air in the vagina makes a noise during thrusting. This is a normal bodily function and your man is acting like a child, rather than a supportive partner. It would be sexy, healthy and fun if you were both laughing together at this bodily reaction. It is not fun for your boyfriend to attempt to shame or humiliate you in any circumstance, sexual or otherwise. Every woman’s body is different, so you can do some experimenting to see whether there is less queefing in certain positions. For example, grinding will cause less queefing than thrusting.
The best solution, my goddess sister:
You could also just keep the queefing and lose the boyfriend. Queefing is just air moving in and out of your vagina. If he can’t take your queefing, he can’t take your queenliness!!
Love and magic,
Lifestyle guru Abiola Abrams is the author of The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love and founder of Womanifesting.com. Download Chakras on Fleek, her latest meditation album, free, with the coupon code “LIFELOVESME” at ChakrasOnFleek.com. Follow her on Twitter to continue the discussion about this week’s hot topic, and then email her your burning questions now. Anything you send will be posted anonymously, promise.