If we had a dollar for every time someone told us they would love to be in a relationship but they’ve been too busy to date, we would own the bank!
Let’s face it: At this stage in our professional lives, we’re all booked and busy. You almost raise an eyebrow if the people around you aren’t so “busy,” but that’s no longer a valid excuse. People find and make time for things that are a priority. If you think about it, are you busier than Oprah, Steve Harvey, Kevin Hart, or Taraji P. Henson? Our point is you’re NOT too busy for love. You either a) haven’t figured out the secret sauce to managing it all or b) it’s time to make some adjustments. No worries – we’re here to help! The Matchmaking DUO is coming to the rescue with 6 tried and true tips to make dating while busy happen:
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1. Bring back the old school calendar– Yes, we really mean print or purchase a blank calendar. Sometimes, you have to see the big picture to be reminded that your personal life is a priority and that it’s different from your career obligations. Start filling in the squares for the month with everything you have going on to visualize where most of your time is going. Trust us, you’ll get tired of writing and it will all start to make sense.
2. Prioritize your involvement – Pick 2! Keep in mind: if your goal is to find love, act like it! You are dating with intention from this moment on. You are on boards, committees, sororities, church ministries and your heart is in the right place. But which ones are getting you closer to spooning at night with that man in your dreams? Choose 2 extra curricular activities that you feel passionate about and put the others on ice. We’re not saying you can’t go back, but for now your love life just climbed the preeminent ladder!
3. Learn to say NO! – For some, the word “NO” is difficult to say and mean without feeling guilty. It’s one of the primary reasons we are often doing things grudgingly and stuck in situations we don’t want to be in. Keep your end goal of finding love in mind. You don’t have time for anything else on your plate, and if it doesn’t include being around new potential people to date…the answer is still NO!
4. Travel – Many of our clients are bi-coastal or simply travel a lot for work (they practically have an alternate address to and from several airports throughout the week.) We encourage you to make this work for you. IF you’re a busy professional, it’s probably common to rush to your flight arriving just in time to board because we dread the wait. But change your mindset! Try getting to the airport at least 2 hours early and sit at the bar for a drink or some appetizers. Your goal is to have conversations with at least 2-3 people each layover leg. It’s a numbers game. If you have time, mosey on over to the international terminals. This is a different traveler that may be someone cultured, have disposable income, embraces differences, intelligent, and if they are traveling for work, one may assume they have a pretty stable career and where they can travel leisurely, too.
5. Consider the entire day – This brings us to widening your perspective of the 24 hours/7 days a week you’ve been given. Use the time in between stops, your lunch break, after work, and even time during and between errands to see whose around you. Long gone are the days when we wait until we’re dressed up to go to an event to think, “OK now I’m open and available.” Maybe there’s someone at the gym, the bank, the coffee shop, out taking a stroll on a nice day. Make every minute you have count.
6. Find the like-minds – Let’s consider: where is the largest population of people spending their time who thins like you and have the same values, hobbies, etc? Once you’ve identified where they are, whether it’s conferences, cruises, festivals, concerts, etc., go online to find the locations and start booking. Put your money where your intentions are, then go back to your calendar and start plugging them in. We guarantee it’s a little harder to back out due to something coming up, when you’ve already paid for your spot, and then you always have something to look forward to!
At the end of the day, if your desire is to be in a healthy, fulfilling and loving relationship, there should be no excuses. Your love life should move to the top of your task list. Yes your career, degree, business, committee, and volunteering is important – but let’s not let it take precedence in your life! This is your year of adjustments and putting your desires first. We’re rooting for you!
@The Matchmaking DUO