As the prices for everything have increased significantly, people are looking for ways to save money—including when it comes to how they date.
“Show me where you spend your money, and I’ll show you what your values are,” says La Keita Carter, PSYD. “I think that money signals to us what a person’s value system is. Remember that money is as valuable as we make it. So, I would 100% suggest that people look at where the money is going. Not for judgment, but to see how somebody invests in the date.”
Carter continues, “For some, they may invest more time and money into their outfit than into the actual date. They buy an outfit, but choose to attend a free book festival instead. Or what if a person is all about the experience? If it’s simple, not around anyone, and a nice walk in the park is great for them, that works too. That person believes in investing more in the emotional connection than anything else. If both people on the date align on what they value most from the experience, then it’s fine. Both parties should be on the same page.”
When you consider the cost of gas, preparation, and food if you’re footing the bill, dating can be very expensive. However, Carter advises that if singles focus on value-based dating instead of looking at it as a financial hurdle, they can get more creative with their outings, allowing for a deeper way to learn about someone.
“Value-based dating is where people are really focused on asking tough questions on those first one or two dates,” she says. “The first date questions that we would typically think of are, ‘How many siblings do you have? What are your hobbies? And what do you do for work?’ But what I’m noticing is that people are doing a little bit more upfront via text or online. So now, by the date, they’re asking, ‘Who did you vote for? How do you communicate when you’re angry?’ Things that Generation X or older millennials don’t ask on first dates.”
If you are interested in building a deeper emotional connection with someone in a fun and budget-friendly way, there are options. Carter shared the following four date ideas that can save money but also help you focus on making a lasting connection.
Sports-Themed Dates
One good way to tell if someone is collaborative or competitive is by observing them on a sports-themed date, such as going to a batting cage. You can be on the lookout for whether the person you are on a date with is a trash talker or encouraging. Are they focused on winning or jumping in to help you learn how to hold the bat properly? For up to $40 per person, this kind of date can reveal certain traits to consider when it comes to compatibility.
Arts and Crafts
For up to $60 per person, a date where a finished product, such as a candle, is created is interactive, creative, and a way to discover someone’s personal preferences.
“Some sort of interactive activity like candle making can show if the person can follow directions or they like to do their own thing,” she says. “It is also a good indicator to know how a person likes to express themselves. Are they someone who likes to be very traditional and pure when mixing scents for the candle, or are they someone who likes to mix and match and see how the results turn out? Similar to ice cream flavors. Do you have a favorite you always choose, or are you open to trying all the flavors out of curiosity? Neither is a bad thing.”
Karaoke Night
Speaking of expressing yourself, a karaoke date is one of the best date ideas, as it allows both people to let loose. Carter believes that this date is an opportunity for you to learn if someone’s personality is reserved or more open. You can share some of your favorite songs you like to sing at the top of your lungs, or if you are less expressive and more on the listening side (cheering is a must, though!), that is okay too. This date, which can be about $50 a person, is more about having fun while also being vulnerable.
A Murder-Mystery Experience
Carter loves to tell singles that one date where you can use your critical thinking skills is a murder-mystery dinner. This one may cost up to $250 for a couple, so it’s a bit of a splurge, but this is a test to see how a prospect solves problems. Is the person you are on a date with invested in the murder-mystery story, or are they someone who goes with the flow and is unbothered either way? How a person responds can be very telling about their approach to resolving conflict, indicating whether they are persistent in trying to fix things or more “I tried it and I’m done.”