‘Tis the season of family, food, friends, fellowship— and loved ones bombarding you with questions about your relationship status (or lack thereof for some). For women, holidays are universal life markers, particularly for relationships. From Thanksgiving, to Christmas to New Year’s Eve to Valentine’s Day – your relationship status stands out for all. And as if you don’t spend enough time questioning your future, how/when you’re most fulfilled, where you want your relationship to go, or how you plan on getting into a relationship in the new year, those pesky nags (otherwise referred to as ‘relatives’), don’t make things better for you during an already stressful time.
And whether you’re in a relationship, or you not, there are always going to be those awkward moments where your family just doesn’t know to fall back. Some families just don’t know how to stop nagging their single relatives. And those in relationships aren’t off the hook so easily either. So if the thought of answering these inevitable relationship questions is already stressing you out, we suggest you go into holidays armed with a plan (and a few clapbacks for when that shot of Hennessy just isn’t enough). And even if you can’t use some of these, it’s always fun to visualize yourself telling off auntie Cheryl, uncle Peanut and cousin Joe.
“When are you settling down already?”
This is an easy one where you can diffuse the situation by answering this question with a question. You can make this one nice by turning it into a question all about them: “When did you know you were ready?”
Why haven’t you found anyone?
To take from the book of Rihanna, you can simply respond by saying, “I’m happy and I’m single, if that’s what you’re really asking.”
Do you think that you are too picky?
“You don’t think I’m worthy of being treated like a queen?” or “I’m not willing to compromise on my happiness.” These will both throw them for a loop, because of course their baby girl shouldn’t be with just any and every ol’ body.
“When are y’all going to get married?”
Here you can respond in two ways. By simply saying, “When the time is right,” or if you haven’t even quite gotten there with your boo yet, be truthful, “This isn’t a discussion that we’ve had with one another, so you’re making it awkward by trying to have us discuss it with you.
“When are you all going to give us some babies?”
This is a sensitive one for some, so you can shut them down easily by saying, “I’d prefer to keep the business about my uterus, my own. Thanks.” Or to leave them stumped you can even try, “Who said that I wanted to have kids?”
“Aren’t you tired of being alone?”
Since they wanted to try and come for you, you can come back with this quick-wit response, “Aren’t you tired of being in my business?”
Why haven’t you held a relationship together?
“Like you’re trying to hold that ponytail together?” Actually, don’t say this one. But you’ll definitely probably think it. For the ignorance of this question, simply take the higher road by just smiling and nodding.