You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show, Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…
Hi Dr. Sherry,
I have a question about my marriage and infidelity. My wife and I have been married for 18 years and have 4 amazing children. About 16 years ago, she had an affair with an ex good friend of mine. I forgave her and moved on with our marriage. Fast forward to 12 years later, she had another affair with someone who was my best friend. She has told me at the time of her infidelity that she was in love with him. It’s been 4 years and we finally found a good counselor who has helped us work through this but I’m not sure I want to stay in the marriage anymore. I don’t trust her and I don’t feel like I can ever have another best friend because she clearly has a problem with ruining my friendships. I’m just not sure how to handle this anymore.
Sincerely, Lost At Sea.
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If those were your best friends, I would hate to see your enemies! You question if you want to stay in your marriage anymore. I question why you are still in there. Your wife of 18 years have had affairs with two of your best friends and you remained in the marriage. You stated the you don’t trust her. No joke! Having affair with any man would be tough to deal with but having affairs with two of your best friends takes it to a whole different level. Just in case you haven’t figured this out, they really were not your friends. You wife has made it clear that she has no respect for you or your marriage. While your “best friends ” are an issue, they are not the problem. The problem is the choices your wife has made in this marriage. Your wife did not make a vow to the men she slept with, she made a vow to you. Given that she violated that vow a long time ago, you must make a choice to stay in a marriage with someone you can not trust. Martial therapy is definitely needed to help process issues. However, individual therapy is highly recommended to help understand what has kept you in this marriage. You deserve more in a marriage but you keep accepting less. The decision for happiness is your decision. So make it carefully! –Dr. Sherry
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