You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…

Dr. Sherry,

My husband and I have been married for 21 years (together for 23). My husband hangs out with his friends pretty much every day before coming home after work. I am fine with this but sometimes he will come home for 30 minutes to an hour afterward and then go and visit more friends, usually a couple we know. We have neighbors who are friends (a married couple) and he will stop over their house every day before coming home or will head to their house after being home for a short period of time. This seems unusual to me and sends me a message that he doesn’t want to be at home or with me. What is your take on this?

Dear Sis,

It appears as if we are reading the same memo regarding your husband. It seems as if he is socializing with everyone except you. For whatever reason, he is avoiding being at home. However, there is something major missing from your story. You have been married to this man for 21 years and together for 23 years – so, what is really going on here? When did his behavior of avoiding your home start? It is highly unlikely that he started this from day one of your marriage. Regardless of when it started or what is happening, it is time to confront the problem. I suggest that you stop and have a long heartfelt conversation with your husband. Express how his behavior is making you feel. If you cannot resolve things in that conversation, marital therapy is recommended. You must be willing to put all your cards on the table and tell the entire story of what is going on. Your marriage consists of two people and there are always three sides of the story: His side, your side, and the truth. Both of you must be willing to face and deal with the truth about your marriage. Marriage takes both people being willing to work through the issues. A marriage only works if you are willing to work for the marriage. – Dr. Sherry

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