You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…
Dear Dr. Sherry,
I was in a relationship with a young woman, and it was nothing serious, but a few months later she texted me saying that she was pregnant. My concern is that I’m not sure the baby is actually mine, but I am willing to provide and be the best father I can be. I have a great role model, my own dad. Another concern is that she keeps pressuring me to buy things for the baby and asking me to attend doctors appointments. I really just want to wait to get a paternity test, but my heart strings are being pulled right now. We are so many miles apart. What is your take on my issue at hand?
Thanks in Advance,
It is great to hear from a male with concerns. Especially a male that is willing to take responsibility and do the right thing by a women. You should be commended for that. I definitely understand why your heart strings are being pulled. Given that you apparently was sexually intimate with this women, there is a strong possibility that you are the father of her child. In order to do the right thing, you must know what the right thing is. In your case, you find that out by having a paternity test done ASAP. This is really important given that your relationship was short term and somewhat causal. It is more important given that she wants you to financially support the baby and to be physically present with her for appointments. It should not take a long time to have the paternity test and receive the results. It is important to have a open honest conversation with the mother of the child about your need to establish paternity before you become emotionally and financially involved. This is the time to think with you head and not with you heart. The results of the paternity may change your life for ever, If the test results indicate that you are indeed the father, then it is important that you legitimize your child with the court. This will establish your parental rights. If you are not the father, you must decide what role if any that you will have with the mother and the child. If you are the father, congratulations! Enjoy being a father and always do the right thing by your child! — Dr. Sherry
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