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Ask Dr. Sherry: ‘I’m Friends With His Ex, Can I Go There?’

A reader wants to do date an acquaintance’s ex. Is it wrong? The doc weighs in!

You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…

Dr. Sherry,

I’ve rekindled with a friendship with someone I knew from high school. It seems we are seeking the same qualities we see in each other in our future partners. He has a child from a previous relationship and I just so happen to know the child’s mother. She and I aren’t friends, but we did hang out once upon a time in the same circle. Presently, we do speak and our children attend the same school and will most likely play together. Would I be wrong to get romantically involved with him even though I knew him way before any of this happened?


Considering Going There

Dear Sis,

There is absolutely nothing wrong with trying to rekindle a fire with your high school friend. I am not sure how many years have passed since you were in high school but life happens. Part of his life included having a child by someone you knew from your past. Given that she is not your friend, you have nothing to be concerned with as long as he is truly over her.

There is no need for you to say anything to her about your potential relationship with him. That will be his job when the time comes. I would suggest you keep speaking to her normally and just keep it moving. Your concerns and energy are needed in establishing and securing your new relationship. Don’t forget that a lot time has passed since both of you were in high school. Do not expect him to be the person you knew in high school because you aren’t the same person he knew in high school either. But, trust me when I say, that could be a good thing for both of you.

Hopefully, both of you have grown up and matured a lot since then. Take the time, date each other and get to know one another as adults. This will give you a chance to see if you are dating a high school boy or a mature man. Remember, life happens and you can shape what happens from this point forward with the two of you. — Dr. Sherry

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