You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…
Dear Dr. Sherry,
I am 44-years-old and a mother of one who is educated and employed. I’m also outgoing, and I have a positive personality. I consider myself to be a good catch. I meet a lot of different men who say they’re looking for a woman like me, until they get me! Then I’m “too nice,” I’m “doing too much,” or I’m “not exciting enough.” Needless to say, I’m discouraged. I want to be in a loving relationship but I feel like I’m constantly being taken for granted. What can I do to make myself available for a real man? How can I tell the difference between someone who is just curious or someone who is for real? Help!
If you feel as if you are being taken for granted, you probably are. You are in control of how you allow people to treat you. When it comes to finding a man, it’s time for you to choose and not just wait patiently to be the chosen one. You must broaden your horizons and look for a man that is secure and confident enough to be with you. Sometimes it takes a special man to appreciate all you have to offer and all you do for him. When you start hearing a list of frivolous complaints about you, do not become discouraged. Also, do not internalize some man’s negative comments about you. Realize that he may be only confirming that he is not the one for you.
You have a right to choose who you are with and committed to. Therefore, make sure you pre-screen carefully. Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish those men who are just “curious ” from the men who want a real relationship. The best way is to take your time and allow him to show you who he is without trying to make something happen before it’s actually happening. If you observe and listen to him, you will quickly know what he really wants from you. But most of all, you will be able to decide what you want from him. Do not settle for less than what you desire! – Dr. Sherry
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