You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show, Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…
I have been with my husband for 5 years and after almost 2 years of marriage, he’s been calling me almost every name in the book and he treats me like a child every day. He calls me lazy all the time even though I do everything there is a to do to make sure our house is in order with no help from him. He wants me to cook, clean up after him he’s like a child, and take care of three of our kids. I have a son and so does he and together we have a daughter. I’m becoming very stressed out because I am not getting any help at all. I am not sure what to do any more. He goes out to the bar all the time and leaves the kids with me. When I feel like I want to go have fun with my friends he says that he doesn’t want me to go. He’s very controlling and I’m not sure what to do anymore. We fight almost everyday and he does things that I think are not good for our marriage. I don’t know how to help him help our marriage if he doesn’t want to. Can you please give me some advise please?
In need of a love saver
I don’t know if you realize it or not but you are a victim of abuse. You definitely are being verbally and emotionally abused and I would not be surprised if not physically abused. Your husband has verbally belittled you by calling you names in addition to treating you like a child. He is also very demanding while isolating you from you friends and other support systems. You are right, he has an issue with control which is a part of the abuse. You clearly see the problem but you must decide how long you are willing to deal with his issues and accept being abused. The abuse will not stop or decrease on it on. Abusing you has worked for him and it will continue as long as you allow it. You can not control your husband or anyone else but you can control yourself. Given that, you must decide if or when you are no longer willing to be the victim of abuse. This may mean that you must develop a plan to leave. You must consider the impact of your abuse on your children. I recommend that you seek individual therapy to work through the emotional issues related to being abused and decide on an exit strategy. If you believe you deserve more, you must not settle for less in this marriage or in any other aspect of your life. –Dr. Sherry
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