You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…
Dear Dr. Sherry,
My babe and I have been together for over a year and a half. He belongs to several private groups on Facebook. I notice that some females have sent pictures to his cell phone too. They even exchange phone numbers. I find this disrespectful. Most of them know he is in a relationship with me as we have a picture of us together on his wall and in his picture albums. I told him how I feel about it but it always falls on deaf ears. If the script was reversed, I am sure he wouldn’t expect me to have male pictures stored on my cell phone or receive calls from them. We are talking marriage in the future. However I feel he is not ready because of this. How can I get past this without being insecure?
The other women may indeed know that your “babe” is in a relationship. But the real question is does he know? It seems like you are the only one defining what you have as a relationship and he may not agree with your definition of things. He is definitely behaving as if he is not in a relationship. It sounds as if you are angry with the wrong person. The women that are in contact with him do not know or care about you. Given that, they are not committed to you or concerned about your feelings. As heartless as it may seem, they do not owe you anything. The sooner you accept that, the easier it will be to direct your attention to the real problem, which is that your boyfriend is acting inappropriately. He is the one you have spent over a year and a half in a relationship with and considering marrying. It is obvious that he does not respect you or listen to your concerns. The fact that women are even sending pictures to his cell phone is a clear indication that he is involved with them on some level. You are right. He is not ready for marriage. But why would you want or even consider marring someone who is not respecting you before you even say “I do?” You must decide how long you are willing to accept being disrespected. You can’t change or control your man or anyone else but you can change and control yourself. Change starts with you. If you are not happy and he is unwilling to change or respect you, maybe it is time to cut your losses and move on. You deserve so much more. — Dr Sherry
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