You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show, Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…
Dr. Sherry,
I need you to be honest with me on this. My best friend, or ex-best friend now, is getting super close to my ex-boyfriend. They’re so close that her wallpaper is my ex-boyfriend and when I saw it, it bothered me a bit. I’m not jealous or anything because my ex-bf and I broke up two years ago but he was my first boyfriend. He will always mean something to me, maybe not in the romantic or intimate way he once did, but he’ll always be part of my life. I don’t know if I’m overreacting to this but them establishing this relationship bothered me a bit. When I tried to talk to her about it, she decided that a friendship with my ex was more important than her friendship with me so she left me with no other choice than to distance myself from her.
I don’t think that anyone would do something like this to their friend if it meant that they didn’t have feelings for the person or if they have feelings for each other. They kept telling me that she’ll never fall for him but I know no one can control their emotions and sometimes things happen. My issue isn’t that they might like each other. It just bothered me more when she decided to end our friendship to stay friends with my ex.
Help!
Hey sis,
The honest truth is that your ex-boyfriend and your ex-best friend have one thing clearly in common. They are both “Exs!” While your ex-boyfriend may have been your first boyfriend, the relationship ended 2 years ago. He has definitely moved on but unfortunately with your best friend. You have to question if she was ever your best friend. Especially given that she never talked to you about her relationship with your ex and when you approached her about it, she chose him over your friendship. The fact that she has him as her wallpaper is a clear sign that they are more than friends. They have both shown you who they really are and it is up to you to believe them. As much as it may hurt, it is time to let go and move on. Sometimes it is easy to get stuck emotionally in old relationships. I recommend that you seek individual therapy to process your feelings and move on. Do you really want to be with people that don’t respect you or want to be with you? If you want more from others, you have to demand more and don’t settle for less. –Dr. Sherry
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