You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show, Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…
Dear Dr. Sherry,
My boyfriend and I have been together for six years now and we’ve known each other for 10 years. We have been living together for two years and overall have a wonderful relationship. He has always known marriage is something I want and he has told me it is something he wants too. This past year, I’ve made it clear I’m tired of waiting for us to truly start our lives together and that I’m not happy with where my life is at now. He is also aware that I have become quite depressed with all our friends getting married and having kids. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to end things because I love him and I’ve committed so much of my life to this relationship but I also don’t want to keep living a life that is making me miserable now. What should I do?
Cluelessly in Love
After knowing each other for 10 years, dating for 6 years, and living together for 2 years, the delay in getting married has nothing to do not knowing each other. You may be waiting for marriage to “truly start” your lives together but your boyfriend started it several years ago and may be confused about your frustration at this time. Your boyfriend does not see a need to change how things are now. It may have absolutely nothing to do with him loving you or not. It has more to do with you happily playing “wifey” and house without being his wife legally. He has everything he would have in a marriage without commitment and responsibility. So, why would he be eager to say “ I do”? Do you really want to pressure your boyfriend into a “shotgun” wedding just to be married? Marriage works best when it is between two willing people who are in love with one another. While you may love your boyfriend, you must love yourself more. Your happiness, hopes, and dreams are important to you but may not be shared by your boyfriend. You must make some choices at this point in your life. If you don’t want to end things, you must decide if you are willing to continue living a life that is making you miserable. I highly recommend that you seek individual therapy to process issues before you make a decision. You are responsible for your happiness. –Dr. Sherry
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