You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show, Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…
Dear Dr. Sherry,
My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We live together and have a one year old daughter. He is a restaurant owner and just last month, I found out he has slept with an enormous number of his female employees. One of them contacted me and told me that she had been sleeping with him for 6 months. He got her pregnant but she had an abortion. The news devastated me. I’m hurt, depressed and ready to take our child and move out. When I confronted him about the allegations that he’s slept with his employees and even got one of them pregnant, he denied the whole thing and refuses to even talk about it. After I tried numerous times to discuss the issue with him, he had the nerve to give me the silent treatement for 4 days. I believe that the woman who contacted me is telling the truth because she knows things I would only know about him. I really think that he’s a compulsive liar and cheater. Over the years that we have been together, I have never seen a man be this highly promiscuous. My friend’s keep telling me that I shouldn’t leave him because our daughter is too young and she deserves to know her father. But he lied to me and now I don’t trust him. I hate that he did this because I wanted to marry him. Now, I could just never do that to myself. What should I do for our child?
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If someone shows you who they are, believe them! Your boyfriend has shown you over and over who he is. The question is why don’t you believe him? You describe him as “a compulsive liar and cheater.” When you confronted him, his response was denial and refuse to talk with you for four days. His silence was a way of trying to control you and get you back in check. It sounds as if worked because you seemed to care about his response and question if your own feelings are justified. Trust with your boyfriend is an issue now and will be later. Yes, your daughter is young but that should not be a life sentence to stay with a man that is disrespectful to you. Keep in mind that you did not get pregnant by yourself. He is the father and has some responsibility in her care. You must decide if you are going to respect yourself and not allow him to emotionally abused or humiliate you. I recommend that you seek individual therapy to process why you are struggling moving on with your life. If you want more, don’t settle for less. Move on with your life. Your boyfriend has definitely moved on. —Dr. Sherry
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