He wants to. You want to. But, is hopping between the sheets right now, or better yet, before marriage, really the right thing to do? It’s a big decision, that shouldn’t be taken lightly – ever! We can’t tell you when it’s time, but we can give you some things to consider before you head to bed with your boo.
Yes, people can change. But the reality often is that they don’t. If you’re dating a man with a bad reputation who claims to be reformed, wait and see if his actions match his words. Giving in to your inner desires before he has lived up to his promises to you means you’re starting off the most intimate portion of your relationship with sacrifice. Is that really what you want to do?
What’s his HIV status? What’s yours? Have either of you been screened for STDS or STIs in the last six months? If we're asking too many questions, you haven’t asked enough. With Black women accounting for the largest percentage of new HIV infections in the country in the last four years, being sure about both your statuses before you even contemplate a sexual relationship is mandatory, not optional.
If you’ve made a vow or promise to God, keep it. Any man who can’t or won’t respect that you’re saving sex for your husband isn’t worthy of meeting you at the altar.
Every woman wants to be a man’s one and only love – but let’s face it ladies, that’s just not always the case. If you’re the “other woman” or suspect he might have one, why would you put your heart or your body at risk? It’s a recipe for disaster. Steer clear!
One day he calls, the next he doesn’t. He’d rather text all day long than pick up the phone and hear your voice. When he wants something, you’re his “baby” but when you start asking questions about where you stand, he “just wants to take things slow.” Does this sound like the guy you are dating? If so, he’s not the kind of man you should get intimate with. If he can’t take your relationship seriously, how can you expect him to respect your body?
Far too often, women cave in to pressures from the men in their lives and have sex before they’re ready. If he’s being pushy about getting you in his bed, it doesn’t mean you’re irresistible; it means he’s impatient. Trust us, you should move on now because you (and your goodies!) are more than worth waiting for.
No means no and wait means wait. The most important thing to remember about sex is that you don’t owe anyone a reason for why you’re choosing to pass. It’s your body, your life and your decision – always! – and you shouldn’t humor anyone who expects you to defend that.
If you’re not sure, you’re not ready. It’s as simple as that. There is no room for second-guessing when it comes to having sex. It’s a big deal. Be confident in your decision to “go there” with him and if you can think of a reason why it's not right for you, that's reason enough to wait.