The Woman Behind The Viral ‘4:43’ Essay Reveals Why She Had To Share Her Pain
Lester Cohen
It’s been nearly two weeks since JAY-Z released his 13th album, 4:44, with a title track that had the world reeling after the rapper admitted to stepping out on wife Beyoncé. How could you, Jay? Just as audiences were digesting the song and its lyrical content, a blog post entitled 4:43 about the pain of a breakup quickly went viral on social media. This week on ESSENCE’s Yes, Girl podcast, Candice Benbow, the author of “4:43” told ESSENCE editors, and Yes, Girl co-hosts Charli Penn, Yolanda Sangweni and Cori Murray why she had to share her heartbreak with the world. “We don’t talk enough about the ethics of love,” said Benbow, who is also the woman behind #TheLemonadeSyllabus. “[Women] are supposed to be so happy and so glad that a man dare look our way. And we are supposed to be so grateful that we keep pouring in and giving of ourselves. There’s nothing that says to them, ‘I might need to not do this or honor the level of commitment she is giving me.'” Asked what healing from her heartbreak would look like, Benbow said, “Healing for me is the ability to be honest with myself. And giving myself the courage and permission to say, ‘I miss him.'” Listen and subscribe (for free) to ESSENCE’s Yes, Girl podcast to hear more of Benbow as she goes all the way in about “4:44” and the complexities of love.


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