Skip to content
  • Essence GU
  • Beautycon
  • NaturallyCurly
  • Afropunk
  • Essence Studios
  • Soko Mrkt
  • Ese Funds
  • Refinery29
  • WeLoveUs.shop
  • 2026 ESSENCE Festival Of Culture
  • Celebrity
  • Fashion
  • Beauty
  • Lifestyle
  • Entrepreneurship
  • News
  • Shopping
  • Video
  • Events
  • Subscribe
Home • Love & Sex

10 Signs Your Sex Life Is In Shambles

If one of these statements ring all too true, it's time to restart your mojo.
By Charli Penn · Updated October 28, 2020
Getting your Trinity Audio player ready…
01
You’d Rather Just Go to Bed

Granted, getting some good shut-eye is mighty important to your daily health, but choosing sleep over sex time after time is anything but a good sign.

10 Signs Your Sex Life Is In Shambles
02
You Suspect He’s Faking It

Pick your jaw up, ladies. This can happen. If he only seems to be in the mood when you accuse him of not, there’s a strong chance he’s faking the attraction to spare your feelings. Sit him down and explain to him that you’re looking for genuine emotions from him, then ask what you two can do together to work on enhancing the mood.

10 Signs Your Sex Life Is In Shambles
03
Bedtime Has Gotten Boring

Most couples have been there before, at least once. You know the scenario: You’re in the heat of the moment and just when things are really getting hot and heavy, someone pauses to bring up something random and way off-topic, like a late bill, or an overdue RSVP. The first time it happens, it’s funny, but if this continues, you must ask yourselves one very important question: Why are we suddenly so distracted?

10 Signs Your Sex Life Is In Shambles
04
Your Sexiness Goes Unnoticed

That sexy little number you bought for him during your last visit to the lingerie boutique is red-hot, yet the first time he saw you in it, it didn’t even raise his temperature. Sound familiar? Ask him what’s on his mind. If there’s something more pressing than you looking irresistible in next to nothing, you need to know about it.

10 Signs Your Sex Life Is In Shambles
05
You’re Off Schedule

If the romps you used to have nightly are happening so seldom that you can’t even remember the last time you had sex, it’s time to address the matter. Most couples have a sex schedule, and if yours is suddenly wide-open there’s certainly room for change.

10 Signs Your Sex Life Is In Shambles
06
There’s No Time to Cuddle

Occasional quickies aside, neither of you should want to rush sex. Putting intimacy on a timer is a recipe for disaster. If you find yourselves frequently saying things like “Only if we hurry,” or “Can you hurry it up, please?”, something’s definitely got to give.

10 Signs Your Sex Life Is In Shambles
07
He’s Just Not Feeling It

If your sex drive is in full gear and each night he passes on your advances, something is wrong. Barring a rough day, there should be no real reason he repeatedly passes on lovemaking.

10 Signs Your Sex Life Is In Shambles
08
The Kids Are Coming to Bed

If lately, every time the little ones peek in asking, “Can we sleep with you tonight?” he’s the first to respond, “Sure, hop in,” your sex life could be headed to the danger zone. It happens, sure, but if you’re sharing your bed more than usual, you should both be equally annoyed.

10 Signs Your Sex Life Is In Shambles
09
Date Nights Fall Short

The scented candles are lit, the bubble bath is waiting, and the smooth sounds of R&B can be heard blaring through your stereo. There’s just one thing missing: you two. The mood is set, but you’re both just not feeling the love. Feeling anything but romantic in a setting that sensual means it’s time to look within to find out what’s causing your dry spell.

10 Signs Your Sex Life Is In Shambles
10
Porn Becomes a Problem

Let’s face it, many men like to watch pornography from time to time. Your personal feelings about it aside, this can be normal, but what isn’t is when the scenes on the screen become more appealing to him than his real-life role with you. Ask him if he’d like to bring one of his favorite scenes to life. Role playing can bring new intimacy and excitement to your love life.

10 Signs Your Sex Life Is In Shambles
11
1172763
10 Signs Your Sex Life Is In Shambles
12
1172813
10 Signs Your Sex Life Is In Shambles
13
1172793
10 Signs Your Sex Life Is In Shambles
14
1172803
10 Signs Your Sex Life Is In Shambles