When You Breakup, Who Keeps Your Shared Friends?

The Kandi/Todd/Apollo friendship saga just got even more complicated, thanks to Nida's new fiancée. What would you do?

Charli Penn Apr, 03, 2017

When longtime couples call it quits, deciding on who keeps your shared friends is a real problem. Can everyone still be cool? What happens when each of them moves on and new lovers are in the mix? Are they welcome?

These questions came to mind last night during the latest airing of Real Housewives Of Atlanta, when Kandi Burruss and Todd Tucker were shocked to see Apollo Nida’s new fiancée, Sherien Almufti, swing by their new restaurant opening. Almufti arrived and said she came to support Nida’s friends on his behalf, since he’s still incarcerated and unable to be there in person.

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It sounds sweet enough at first, until of course, you remember that Nida is castmate Phaedra Parks’ ex husband, Burruss and Tucker are her friends, and Parks and Nida’s divorce is not yet final. Now things are awkward…and rightfully so. Burruss’ and Tucker weren’t pleased and were practically speechless when Almufti arrived, and things only got more awkward from there.

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When Nida called in to say hello, Burruss made her feelings known: “I’m just going to keep it real with you,” she told Nida. “I always thought you were a cool person. And of course us being cool with you has obviously turned into a whole bunch of drama with me and Phaedra. But at the same time, I feel awkward meeting your girlfriend — even thought you’re nice — y’all are just getting divorced. So it makes me seem like I’m trying to be messy.”

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We agree, Kandi. Messy doesn’t even begin to describe how tense things can get between exes when they try to share friends, and this is exactly why. How do you decide who comes to what event, and when? What if the exes are feuding and unable to keep it friendly, does that mean they get their friends every other weekend? Should friends have to choose? And what happens when your friends ex, who you’re still cool with, decides to bring their new love around, just as Nida has in this case?

See what we mean? There are just way more questions than answers when it comes to mixing old friends, old lovers and their new loves. How do you handle these messy situations?

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So, let’s break it down. Are you still cool with your close friend’s ex? And, is his new girlfriend or wife welcome too? For me, it’s quite simple: If my friend is cool with keeping her ex in the mix and seeing him around group activities, then so am I. But, if she’s over it, and she was my friend first, then it’s a no go. Case closed. Because….girl code!

Let’s talk about it!

Hide Transcript
What is your relationship like with Kandi, MiMi and your other castmates at this time? Well you know it is a show, obviously, but at the end of the day anyone that watches knows I have several jobs. Right. And I'm a very busy lady. And when I'm not busy, my main priority is my sons. I really have to be a parent first, and hopefully do a great job at that. And as far as relationships, of course Porsha's my best buddy. We do a lot of work together on dish nation but outside of dish nation and outside of the housewives we are obviously very connected and I think it's because we've shared some of the same experiences. She went through a very public divorce. Right. And now obviously I am in the same seat that she has sat in so she recognizes some of the challenges that come with that. Nini and I after she left the show we remained in contact And we still speak. We still keep in touch and, you know, Kandi, we're in a difficult place and we'll see what happens with that. [BLANK_AUDIO]