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Abiola Abrams
Mar, 08, 2018

Ever wonder what your neighbors are into when the lights go down?

Consider this a fun social experiment, a peek behind the door and under the sheets of your neighbors. Two couples, about the same age, who have been together about the same length of time, and live in similar cities.

Let’s eavesdrop on what’s happening in their intimate lives.

Tell us about yourselves as a couple.
Couple 1:
I’m “Lauren” and I’m 38. I’ve been with “Jason” four plus years and we are getting married later this year. He’s 41. We live in Brooklyn.

Couple 2: Do I need to state upfront that we’re lesbians? I’m “Nakia” and my wife is “Jade.” We’ve been married for almost 5 years. I’m 39 and my wife is 40. We’re from Philly.  

How did you meet?
Couple 1:
You really want to know? It was supposed to be a one night stand but four years later here we are! We met at the club. So, see? Sometimes the club hookups do work out, right? (laughs)

Couple 2: We met online. I was getting over a bad breakup at the time. I was more looking for a distraction. But she just spoke my language. I don’t know how else to say it. She saw me. For real. She got me.

What were your pre-marital intimate relations?
Couple 1:
Well we’re still in that premarital space! [laughs] It took us a long time and a whole lot of drama to get here. The night we met I was out with friends and it was one of those nights. Everybody kind of ended up doing their own thing. I went home with Jason, and no, I would never advise that. It really was my first time ever doing something like that. Everybody says it, but I’m for real: He was my first and last one night stand.

Couple 2: We had sex the second night we met. It’s not like we could get each other pregnant! We started kissing on a park bench and never stopped. And it’s been good the whole time. Sex has probably slowed down the past year, but that’s on both our parts. We have a lot going on.  

Q: Would you consider yourself to be adventurous in the bedroom?
Couple 1:
Hell yeah! But the funny thing is I have the higher freak number than Jason. And after four years I’m still trying to ease him up to my level. [laughs] I don’t want him feeling like, ‘Damn! Where’d you learn that?’ But I’ve probably done most things. My last relationship was with somebody who was pretty much willing to do anything and I was too. The butt, 50 Shades, threesome, whatever. But my man now is more conservative so I follow his lead.

Couple 2: I haven’t really been adventurous up until this point, but the question is making me want to step my game up! [laughs] I am a gold star lesbian, meaning I’ve never been with a man. My wife has had boyfriends before but we probably really could both be more adventurous. We do lingerie and stuff like that. I really dig it.

Do you give and receive oral sex in your relationship?
Couple 1: 
Yeah, but that’s kind of basic, right? I had a friend from another culture and she said that for her oral sex was like a birthday treat for her man. I thought that was crazy. I see oral as just basic every day. Come on now.

Couple 2: Of course! Do the math! We’re lesbians.  

Do you have a preference for giving and receiving?
Couple 1:
Funny you ask because I did use to prefer giving. Only because being all spread out like that made me feel uncomfortable. Then it just takes me a long time to orgasm. So I was just over it like just let me, do you. But one day Jason was just like, I want to do this for you. I don’t care how long it takes. And that change EVERYTHING. So receiving is my fave of course but I enjoy pleasing my man too.

Couple 2: I love giving and receiving. You can’t choose. We need both, right? Receiving, well, that just drives me right over the edge. Just even thinking about it now! But giving is kind of beautiful too. Something about the power of giving Jade that much pleasure. It’s just beautiful. Like my own personal porno.

Do you have any special techniques or tricks?
Couple 1:
You could try ice or honey or something like that on your man to mix things up. My man is into that. I feel like we need too much warm up as women sometimes. My biggest technique is just to grab my man whenever wherever and be ready to drop to my knees. Being spontaneous like that keeps it fresh. Oh wait -- here’s a tip. Use your vibrator on him while you’re tasting him. He will lose his mind. How do you think I finally got my ring? (laughs)

Couple 2: When I was first coming up, the girls would say spell the alphabet with your tongue. You ever heard that before? But that’s only gonna get things started. You need to more pay attention. See how her body is responding. What’s the natural lubrication status? Does she look like she’s in another world? So I guess my technique is really being in the moment.

Do you ever fake it?
Couple 1:
Yeah, I wish I could say I didn’t fake it anymore but I do. Not all the time though. And just because I fake it doesn’t mean it wasn’t good.  I feel like it has gotten better the more he knows my body and the longer we are together. I feel lucky like that.

Couple 2: Not really. I don’t really feel like you can fake with another woman like you can fake with a man. I mean -- what do men know? They’ll believe anything. They think they’re putting in work just because we are putting in a performance. (laughs) I do embellish, like turn up the volume, but that just makes it hotter. But I don’t fake and I’m sure Jade doesn’t either.

Lifestyle guru Abiola Abrams (@abiolaTV)  is the author of the award-winning “Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love” and founder of the Spiritualista! Goddess Pray Love Feminine Power Retreat in Belize. Learn more about the Summer Solstice Retreat at