10 Reasons Not to Make Up With Your Ex Over the Holidays

Don't let a little nostalgia lead you back down the wrong road this holiday season. Here are ten signs you're settling.

Kevin Carr Dec, 19, 2013

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There’s something about the holiday season that appeals to our need and desire for companionship. It reflects a time of love and selflessness that brings you close to your loved ones. Only, sometimes that includes an ex. And when that happens, caution is key. You mustn’t let your emotions take control. Stand guard over your heart and remember the big picture: Your emotional well-being. If he wasn’t right for you in September, rest assured nothing has changed but the date. Here are 10 reasons you shouldn’t make up just for the holidays.

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There’s a reason for that. We all get a little “needy” around the holidays. That’s perfectly normal – especially for the single folk. However, you must be cautious that you don’t allow your temporary emotional state overtake your reason and make you override your standards. Remember, the relationship ended for a reason. If the holiday spirit is the only reason you’re calling him up, don’t!  

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Getting back together just for the holidays is not only confusing for you but for your friends and family as well. This is especially true if you’ve cried on more than a few shoulders regarding his antics. They won’t know whether they should be smiling or mean mugging when he comes around and that makes for tension and awkwardness for all parties involved.

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Many times people will hold together a relationship just to keep up appearances. It’s better to be single and happy than be “taken” and miserable. Don’t compromise your truth for the sake of looking as if you have it all together.

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Every time you reach back for your past, you mortgage a bit of your future. It’s not worth it. He’s not worth it. You can’t move forward until you let go, and by you letting go, you make room for what you truly want. Moving on is a challenge, but it is something that must be done.

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There comes a point when you must disregard the amount of time you have invested in a relationship if it has gone nowhere. If it doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work. Realizing that will liberate you from the drudgery of trying to fix a situation that is irrefutably flawed. Before you attempt to give it another try, ask yourself aloud, “How has he changed?”

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Reruns are only good when it’s your favorite episode. It takes time and space to get over someone with whom you have been intimately committed. Stepping back into that situation will only place your heart in an even more fragile state than it’s already in. Don’t be so enticed with the “magic” of the holidays that you risk experiencing the pain of a break up all over again when that “magic” wears off. Your TV screen holiday romances usually end in happily ever after, but in real life, your situation, either good or bad, usually stays the same.

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If your closest friends are urging you not to jump back in with him, you should listen. Many times they know you better than you know yourself, and a good friend always tells you the truth no matter what. If you feel like you have to keep it a secret from them, that’s a sign you aren’t confident with your decision. And, if you can’t be confident in your decision, it’s probably one that you know deep down you shouldn’t be making.

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Ladies, take it from someone who has been on the other side of the spectrum: I vividly remember an experience with an ex after our relationship had gone astray (my doing!). She walked out of my bedroom with tears in her eyes once she realized she didn’t want what she thought she wanted. Don’t do it! You will ultimately end up feeling worse than you did before for giving your body to someone who doesn’t deserve it, and under circumstances that aren’t in line with your true desires. Real talk.

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You walk through the mall and you see all the couples holding hands while shopping together and you wonder where your other half is. I’ve been there too. (Men actually get lonely during the holidays as well.) The key for you is to use this time to focus on what matters most. Spend more time with your friends and family. Allow your mind to drift away from your personal needs and focus on others. That’s what the season is all about, and I guarantee the loneliness will fade.

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Change takes place just beyond your comfort zone. Keep that in mind the next time you’re tempted to give in to what’s familiar. It’s natural; you’re used to having him to talk to. If you were in a relationship for an extended period of time, you are most likely accustomed to him being around this time of the year. I get it. However, it is my hope that you hold fast and refuse to walk back into a dead end relationship.

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Let’s talk some more. Be sure to leave questions or comments for me below. Keep up with me over on IfMenAreDogs.com or find me on Twitter anytime. For more advice from me, read 10 Things You Think Impress Him, But Don't.

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