A reader's long-time boyfriend hasn't had sex with her in months. But is he sleeping with someone else? Read what Dr. Sherry has to say!
You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…
Dear Dr. Sherry,
I am in a two-year relationship and we have lived together for 18 months. My boyfriend has a medical condition and he is unable to perform sexually. We have not had intercourse in over six months. I have a very high sex drive and I feel frustrated that he will not have anything to do with sex whatsoever, not even to please me. I recently snooped and found out he’s seeing another woman, and they’ve been talking on a daily basis. I feel so disrespected and don’t know how to confront him. This is just eating me up! Please advise me on what I should do.
After living with your boyfriend or anyone for 18 months, you usually know when something is going on. The fact that your boyfriend is not having sex with you or even sexually active with you, does not mean he is not sexually active with someone else. Your boyfriend avoiding all sexual activity with you is a dead giveaway that something is seriously wrong with your relationship. Usually, a medical condition that effects sexual performance does not necessarily effect sexual desire. If men can not sexually perform adequately, they find other ways to meet their sexual needs and their partner’s needs. Trust me, he is getting his sexual needs met somewhere. It is highly likely they are being met by the women he is talking with daily. Now that you know there is someone else, it is time to be honest with yourself and your boyfriend. Regardless of how he respond, you must be clear on what you want and how you want to be treated in a relationship. Issues of trust are now a real part of your relationship. I suggest you work through your feelings with a therapist. It is time to take care of yourself emotionally. If you want more, do not settle for less! — Dr Sherry
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