Ask Dr. Sherry: 'I'm Afraid To Divorce My Husband Because I Don't Want To Ask Him For Child Support'

Will she step up for the sake of providing for her children or will she remain in a loveless marriage? Dr. Sherry advises. 

Dr. Sherry Feb, 03, 2017

You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show, Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…

Dear Dr. Sherry,

Let me begin by saying, I am a horrible decision maker. I want to leave my husband and the father of my two kids. We were separated for 5 months but I was a fool and moved back in. I “thought” it was going to be better or maybe I thought it was going to be “easier” this time. I guess my question is how do I over come my fear of taking him to court for child support? Once I move, I will financially struggle, I’m not worried for myself but I am feeling terrible for my kids I do not want them to go with out. I work and go to school 6 days a week. What is fair to ask him for? How do I help him see from my point of view and vise versa. I can’t fight anymore, I can’t stress anymore. I’m ready to permenately change my life, but I don’t want to do anymore damage to my poor children because they don’t deserve it. Sounds like a broken record I’m sure… 

Hey Sis,

You may not sound like a “broken record” but you are definitely replacing the same mistakes many women make. The mistake is returning to a relationship after a breakup and expecting things to be different without doing anything different. A separation in and of itself does not necessarily change things. It is unclear the reason you left and still want to leave your husband. But, you must be honest about the reason you returned to your marriage and is still there. You are there because you are not tired of being tired of whatever the issues are that has created the problems. Once you are tired enough, nothing will keep you there. That is the reason that I have a hard time buying that you returned to the marriage because you thought it was going to be “easier” or that you are a “horrible” decision maker. It is not always easy financially when you separate or divorce. But you must ask yourself if the finances or ” stuff” is enough to keep you in an unhappy relationship. It is always easier to run back to what is easy even if it is uncomfortable. Taking him to court for child support does not have to be a scary thing. Child support is something he owes to take care of his children. So don’t feel as if he will be doing you a favor by paying child support. I recommend you get a lawyer to handle child support and other legal issues. I also recommend that you seek individual therapy to understand what is really holding you back from moving forward. You clearly have some unfinished business with your husband otherwise you will not be there. When you are truly ready to leave your husband, you will know and nothing will be able to stop you. –Dr. Sherry 

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