You've seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show, Braxton Family Values. Now it's your turn to sit in her chair...
Hi Dr. Sherry,
My husband has a female stalker from an old job. He told me that he never had an affair with be her but she now claims to be having his baby. He has cheated on me in the past and although he has never admitted it, I know it for a fact. Now I know I sound like a fool for staying with him but I am just in a numb state now. It's been six months since she first came around accusing him. She is still haunting us and refuses to leave us along. It is really bothering me and he doesn't seem to understand why. I am so tired of everything and he thinks I’m being dramatic. I honestly feel nothing anymore. It’s like I am a walking zombie. I think I should leave but my heart gets to me at the last minute. Once again I have made him a priority even though I know I am not one to him. How do I build myself up to leave? He can deal with all the mess he’s created for his narcissistic self all alone.
Stalker? I really don’t think she is a stalker. A stalker suggests that it is an unwanted solicitation. I did not hear you say that your husband is complaining about her. She may be your husband’s lover, ex-lover, or maybe even the father of her child but not a stalker. You know that your husband has lied to you repeated and has had multiply affairs. Given this, why are you “ numb” or surprised by this lady coming around? You will continue to be a “walking zombie” until you wake up and take your control of your life. Your husband has shown you who he is for years but you don’t seem to believe him. Believe him because it is highly unlikely that he is going to change. You must make the decision to make yourself a priority. As long as you are willing to accept your husband’s disrespectful and inappropriate behaviors, nothing is going to change. I recommend that you seek individual psychotherapy to understand why you have remained in this marriage. If you want more in a marriage, don’t continue to settle for less. --Dr. Sherry
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