Just because you’re invited to the wedding doesn’t mean you’re there to judge.
A wedding is about the bride and groom becoming one and starting a new life together. Guests are invited to share in the couple’s joy, not publicly rip them to shreds over the details of their big day. Which is exactly why popular Singaporean make-up blogger Juli ‘Bun Bun’ became known as the “Worst Wedding Guest Ever” in the media this week after she attended a wedding with her husband and live-blogged passing judgement all-day long on everything from the bride’s dress to the food.
The blogger has since removed the scathing wedding review after being criticized from all corners of the web, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t still a valuable lesson to be learned from her mistake. Yes, there will inevitably be things about a wedding that displease some of the guests—nasty food, a majorly delayed start time or a cash bar—but polite people keep those petty thoughts to themself. And, if one should find themselves irritated by little details like, say, maybe choice of song, dress or venue, it’s time for a reality check. You’re being a jerk and forgetting the most important thing: It’s their day, not yours. Deal with it.
Now that over-sharing is commonplace on social media, people have an opinion about every single litle moment in life, and they’re usually overwhelmingly mean thoughts, not positive one. When it comes to certain events in another person’s life, your opinion (good, bad or otherwise!) really doesn’t matter. Weddings top that list and these six aspects of a couple’s big day should absolutely never be criticized or mocked.
1. The Venue
Weddings are expensive. Like, very expensive. And, venue and catering costs make up the bulk of the cost. If you’re not forking up any cash to help the couple afford their wedding, you should just sit back, relax and enjoy the ceremony. Stop worrying about how long it took to get there, how many times you’ve been there before or how generic that fountain and gazebo might be. You RSVPed, so deal with it.
2. The Decor
When you’re at a wedding, please remember to focus on the love and not the optics. You’re not at a trendy nightclub or a state dinner, you’re watching two people you love tie the knot. Unless you’re Preston Bailey, trust us, nobody cares.
3. Family Members’ Appearance
Not everyone in a bride and groom’s family will interpret the dress code the same way. Do not pass judgement on Uncle Joey because he wore his sky blue suit and gators to a formal affair. He came to party, and you should too.
4. The Dress
Fashion is subjective—bridal fashion included. For so many couples, their wedding day is like a real-life fairytale. How dare you tell the queen how to dress for her coronation! You don’t have to wear the gown, be photographed in it or forever see yourself wearing it in a portrait on your wall, do you? Great. Now let us move on.
5. The Bride’s Hair
This is something that should not even have to be said, yet somehow brides are often criticized on the Internet for their dramatic or non-traditional ‘dos. Stop it. Again, they’re her pictures, not yours. This one is not even worth a whisper to the person sitting next to you.
6. The Vows
There is nothing more personal between two people than the vows they share at the altar. They’re not marrying you, they’re marrying each other, so please, forever hold your peace.
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