People’s veins are popping out of their heads right now because rapper Yung Miami said she wants a man who has millions of dollars.
Brief recap: while the rapper, born Caresha Brownlee, was a guest on Uproxx’s Sound Check, she was asked about the current state of her love life, to which she said, “I’m just living” and “just having fun.”
When asked whether she has a list of requirements for a potential suitor, the 32-year-old mentioned him “having a coin.”
She continued, “A provider. I need someone that’s God-fearing, that’s religion [sic], that believes in God. Someone that leads.”
When the interviewer asked what the minimum net worth requirement would be, she replied, “I want a man that at least got like $100 million dollars.”
Soon after, plenty of keyboard warriors powered up their fingers and rushed turbo speed to comment sections to rebuke Caresha for her personal preference. The general response to her comments are predictable yet baffling. The rapper is also confused and expressed that in a social response to the online commotion.
“I’m trying to figure out how did I insult so many ppl by stating what I want in a man,” she commented. “Why yall so mad? B—h i believe I can fly wtf. I’m so confused a lot of yall feel hit i wasn’t even talking to yall!”
There haven’t been many times I have agreed with Yung Miami, but I do today. I too am confused about why people are irate about another woman’s preferences. This is especially common amongst women, who are often told not to ask for too much or have a standard above what society sets. When women ask for too little and get the short end of the stick, they’re shamed and told they should raise their standards. When they raise their standards to something they believe they deserve, they’re berated and told to lower them.
Telling women what their dating standards should be stinks of misogyny and I need us to unlearn this way of thinking. While we’re here, let’s also admit that while there are dating principles, shaped by societal norms, there are no infallible rules when it comes to the process. Women have been told nobody would want them as single moms, if they were accomplished, too heavy, to thin, etc. That’s been proven wrong time and time again.
While there is a small percentage of men who have a net worth of $100 million, that doesn’t make Caresha’s preference completely unattainable. It’s also none of our business.
I think it’s more productive to figure out why her boldness may be triggering you. It’s likely that you’re not brave enough to seek and ask for what you truly want and the starlet triggers the part of you that’s settling. Whether that’s wanting a man who earns six figures, a job that pays more, or to move across the country and pursue your dreams. When we aren’t satisfied with our lives, we often project onto people who have the things we are lacking. That lack isn’t always material. It could be confidence, discipline, determination, bravery and the list goes on. But spewing vitriol at another woman won’t make your life any better. That energy is better used building the self esteem needed to pursue the things you desire. Part of that journey requires you to dismantle the beliefs that tell you where your dreams are allowed to begin and end.
As a woman in particular, it takes audacity to get what you want, and that includes going against the grain and ruffling feathers.
I task myself with living a life outside of the confines of what’s ‘realistic,’ so I feel where Caresha is coming from. While I don’t need a man with a net worth of $100 million, I respect her confidence and ability to voice the standard she’s set for herself. I think all women should dream big and be a little delusional in a world that wants to keep them small. If you truly care about women’s liberation and pushing the cause forward, the least you can do is respect a woman’s right to choose how they want to live their life, even if you don’t fully agree with it.