After getting divorced at 31, I decided I was one and done with kids. I was scared of becoming a single mom twice and terrified of having multiple baby daddies, also known as multiple father fertility. Admittedly, I was also worried about how people would judge me if I had multiple baby fathers. Clearly, my worries weren’t unfounded.
During an interview with the In Godfrey We Trust Podcast, Tiffany Haddish shared her views on women with more than two baby fathers.
“I could be completely wrong and the internet probably gonna destroy me for this, but I think women that have more than two baby daddies, usually have some sort of mental illness,” Haddish said, adding that these women are getting genetically modified twice.
She explained, “Every time you get pregnant, there’s stem cells that come from that baby, and stem cells end up behind your eyes, and your brain, and your heart, and your lungs and stuff to help your organs heal while the baby takes from you. “
The Girls Trip actress added that those stem cells always stay with you, and that means the man is “always in you.”
“And that is why the Bible says you will only desire your husband, this is why you gotta use condoms,” she added.
It sounds like Haddish was referring to a phenomenon called fetal microchimerism, which is when a small number of cells from a developing fetus cross the placenta and stay in the mother’s body—sometimes for decades after pregnancy. Essentially, mom and baby share one another’s cells and DNA during pregnancy, with the fetus often transferring more cells to the mother. Since children carry both parents’ DNA, that may be what Haddish meant by the man ‘always being inside of you.’
The actress added, “If you get pregnant by multiple people… that’s multiple spirits, multiple thoughts, multiple modifications from different DNA strands.”
While the concept of fetal microchimerism may have some bite, the idea that women who have multiple kids with multiple men have a mental illness and suggesting it’s caused by DNA and cell mixing is erroneous. I’m not even going to bother mincing my words—to say that on a public platform is just reckless. There are some tenuous views that should remain in a group chat, and this is one of them.
Unfortunately, Haddish didn’t end her views there. She also said that having multiple baby fathers and carrying various men’s cells is why said women struggle.
“Usually those b*tches are struggling in so many different ways… not just financially, but with where to focus, because you have too many different bloodlines in your blood,” she said.
As someone who often has an opinion on things, I’m all for people having strong views and often appreciate when said opinions are controversial. However, we have a responsibility to not share POVs that are harmful, especially to the Black community. Research shows that multi-partner fertility is more common among Black and multiracial parents than among white and Asian parents.
Haddish’s views are harmful, not only because the logic is faulty, but also because it places all the blame on Black mothers and doesn’t challenge the systems that we’re trying to survive in. To make it worse, these baleful views are coming from a Black woman.
I won’t deny that mental illness is more prevalent among Black moms—we experience a higher prevalence of maternal mental health issues, such as postpartum depression and anxiety, compared to the United States national estimates. Additionally, women who have more than one baby father have been found to experience more stress and mental health challenges than women who share children with one father. However, that isn’t the full picture. These mental health challenges aren’t occurring just because women have multiple baby fathers and are mixing energies with multiple men.
Haddish’s opinion bypasses prevalent factors that contribute to poor mental health in Black moms like systemic racism, poverty, socioeconomic factors and lack of access to adequate care. And before all the accountability police pull up, yes, I think Black women should take some accountability if having multiple baby father’s is having a negative impact on their wellbeing. But we must also keep our feet on the necks of systems that keep us oppressed and shame us for being products of environments they created. Haddish’s views don’t hold space for both, instead it focuses on shaming women and making boisterous claims without giving this conversation the range and level of critical thinking it deserves.
Systemic issues aside, there are multiple reasons a mother could end up with several fathers to her kids. Divorce, death, and learning how to ride a bike as it relates to love can all impact how many baby dads one ends up with.
If we want to see positive change in the Black community as it relates to our family structures, mental and economic well being, love and grace are going to be more powerful tools than shame. At the bare minimum, if you don’t have the range to have a conversation on topics that hold this much weight, don’t have the conversation at all.