For decades, lingerie has been framed as something women wear for someone else. While that’s still partially true, a growing cultural shift, spearheaded by women, is reclaiming lingerie as something we also wear to connect with our innate sexiness and to enhance self-love. In other words, lingerie has become less about seduction and more about self-connection.
Lingerie brand Bluebella recently launched a Modern Sensuality study as part of a campaign and found there’s a nexus between lingerie and sexual satisfaction, whether solo or partnered. The survey is part of a broader community-driven campaign exploring how women experience sensuality, sexuality, and desire on their own terms.
The global survey of over 1,500 women found the leading driver for women wearing lingerie was as an act of self-love (34.5%), followed by boosting confidence and self-esteem (23%). The third-highest reason was a romantic or intimate occasion.
Perhaps the most powerful insight from Bluebella’s Modern Sensuality survey is that women who buy lingerie more frequently report significantly higher levels of sexual satisfaction and pleasure both with partners and on their own. That connection matters, especially in a world where stress, burnout, body changes, and aging impact women’s self-image and pleasure. For many, lingerie becomes a small but meaningful way to reclaim their bodies. It’s also a reminder that sexiness doesn’t disappear with weight fluctuations, motherhood, or time.
As someone who became a mom eight years ago and watched my body shapeshift, I can relate to wearing lingerie as a way to boost self-confidence and embrace my body as is. I started wearing lacey intimates outside of special date nights a couple of years ago to improve my relationship with my body. It was uncomfortable at first. My back fat, flappy breasts, and little tush had nowhere to hide. But with time, I realized I didn’t need to hide those things. I am still sexy despite them. Make that, I am sexy with them.
Lingerie gives me a chance to focus on all the ways my body is still beautiful, albeit different from what it was 20 years ago. Taking a shower and putting on a sexy one-piece is no longer an event I reserve for Valentine’s Day or to seduce my man. It has become a ritual, and I take it so seriously that I disposed of (most) of my haggard sleepwear as a reminder that every day is a good day to sleep sexy.
J.Marie, a sexologist in Richmond, Va., says it’s important to treat lingerie as a sensory ritual. She recommends focusing on texture, stretch, and how it feels against your skin. Fit matters too.
“Buy lingerie that fits the body you have, not the body you wish you had,” Marie says. You want to feel sexy and confident, whether that be for yourself or a partner, in the lingerie you wear. Stop buying lingerie with a goal of losing weight to fit into it and buy lingerie that you know will look good on the body you have now.”
Wearing sensual undergarments around the house on a random Tuesday may feel silly, especially if you aren’t at a place where you’ve come to fully accept the body you have now. But
it makes for a brave first step. It gently encourages you to look at the stretch marks, rolls, cellulite, scars, or whatever else has made you cringe in the past to reduce the power those insecurities hold over you.
“Let lingerie teach you where you hold shame and embrace it, says Marie. “Oftentimes, we try to cover up those parts of our bodies that hold insecurities. Use that as a way to emotionally connect with your body.”
When those insecurities arise, remember that your body deserves to be adorned, even if it doesn’t fit society’s standards. And you deserve to witness your own sexiness outside of romantic partnership.
Embracing lingerie is about romanticizing your life. It’s about creating moments that remind you of your body’s worth, pleasure, and power.