As a new mom, you’re bound to encounter some interesting personalities—be it your children, pesky folks who can’t stay out your business, and other moms. Some mommies are pretty cool, while others deserve their own reality show. The next time you happen to take a trip to the playground with your kiddo, peep out the other moms who will also be with their son or daughter in the sandbox. And who knows, you might just make a new friend!
1.) The helicopter mom. You never have to worry about your kid scraping a knee or eating dirt, because this mom is already hovering around the scene to save the day. Baby wipes. Hand sanitizer. First aid kit. Shock blanket. Consider it #handled
2.) The over-sharer. This mom can be a source of information, but will likely be the one to spam your mental inbox with too much information — literally. Have pity on her; she really needs to get out of the house.
3.) The gatekeeper. There’s a good chance you’re going to run into a posse of moms at the playground. And, should you want to join in all the swapping of parenting tips and fun, you’re going to have to get past the gatekeeper. This mom is one tough cookie, but you can break her down.
4.) The health nut. “You know, you might not want to give your kids those — they have GMOs.” As wonderful as it is to read every label and stay up on all the recalls, this type of mom will drive you nuts.
5.) The rules police. You might want to double back to the park entrance so you can read the playground rules. Failure to do so can result in the rules police mother showing up and giving you a citation.
6.) Frantic Fran. While motherhood has certainly been known to make the best moms antsy, a mother who’s known as Frantic Fran takes things to another level. She won’t let her kid use the swing (might cause brain damage), isn’t about the sandbox (could be heroin needles inside), and is constantly running behind her son or daughter in case LO slips and needs to go to the emergency room. Yeah, take a deep breath — it’ll be okay.
7.) The oblivious mom. One mother who might be a little harder to spot at the playground is the one who’s not really paying attention to her child. Because she’s so glued to her phone, Mom is clueless to the fact that her child is eating things that aren’t food, terrorizing other kids, or about to wander off.
8.) The boaster. In case you didn’t know, EVERYTHING is a competition with this mama. Sure, she’ll talk to you about your day and your child, but deep down inside, she’s just waiting to boast about her kid reaching a milestone so quickly.
9.) The know-it-all. Ah, yes — the living and walking encyclopedia. God bless this mother for trying to fill her head with every parenting tip and expert recommendation known to moms. No matter how good her intentions are, she is going to bug the crap out of you.
10.) The laid back mom. It’s good to find mom friends like this. Not only does this woman fully understand accidents can and will happen, but she doesn’t spend her time judging you for your parenting choices. She’s cool, and she knows how to go with the flow, without taking herself too seriously.
11.) The product pusher. There’s always one mom on the playground who has the latest and greatest — and isn’t afraid to show it off. She never goes generic and is all about the name brands.