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Home · Lifestyle

'I'm Enjoying Married Life Thoroughly': Monyetta Shaw-Carter On Being A Newlywed And Her Blended Family

She speaks to ESSENCE about joining 'Real Housewives of Atlanta,' the most surprising thing about marriage and the art of blending families.
‘I’m Enjoying Married Life Thoroughly’: Monyetta Shaw-Carter On Being A Newlywed And Her Blended Family
Paras Griffin/Getty Images
By Elizabeth Ayoola · Updated June 27, 2022

You may think you know Monyetta Shaw-Carter from her relationships or from seeing her with her celebrity friends, but there’s much more to the entrepreneur than what social media shows.

She has built a successful brand, cultivating an Instagram following of more than 600,000 people. She is the definition of “does it all,” holding multiple events catering to parents through her Mom N Play tour, publishing children’s books, including The Chronicles of Nice Guy Maso and The Adventures Of Maddie: Meet Maddie inspired by her kids Mason and Maddie, and releasing her co-parenting planners. One of her most recent endeavors is joining the cast of The Real Housewives of Atlanta as a friend to the show, which you can catch Sundays at 8 PM ET/PT on Bravo.

Another new undertaking for Shaw-Carter is marriage. She “I do” to entrepreneur Heath Carter in November 2021 in what was a modern day fairytale wedding. 

We had a chat with Shaw-Carter to hear more about her role on RHOA, married life and blended families. 

ESSENCE: What compelled you to join Real Housewives of Atlanta and what have you enjoyed about being on it so far?

Monyetta-Shaw Carter: It just made sense at this time in my life. Me being a newlywed, and I’ve known most of the women for some time now. And of course, Kandi and I have been friends for a very long time. I love that each and every one of the ladies are bosses in their own way and we all support one another. That’s the type of sisterhood that I’m about. So it made so much sense for me to join the ladies and I’m honored.

How do you strike a balance between sharing enough to be relatable and also protecting your private life and family while on the show?

Well, being a friend of the show this season, I’m just that support. So I don’t have to really reveal a lot of family things yet. I’m there to support the ladies. It’s my first season and I had so much going on this year. I literally sold my penthouse, was searching for a house, planning a wedding, going on a honeymoon. So much was going on during filming but I didn’t have to show every single part of my life at that time. 

I definitely want to be true to myself, so I give a lot of myself, but not too much because I’m not one of those oversharers. But you know, you have to share enough so you can relate to the people and help others out.

Can you tell me a side of you that viewers will see on the show that they don’t get to see on social media?

I’m like a dance machine and super fun. I love to break out in an eight count. I love to have a good time and live in the moment. I was somewhat of a referee too, you’ll see that coming up. I kinda get in the middle, like, “Okay ladies, we could talk about our issues.” Let’s calm down, let’s keep it cute, keep it classy, you know? Like I said, sisterhood, having a good time, a little shade here and there. So you’ll see a lot of that and you know, supporting my friends and being there for [them]. 

How are you enjoying married life and what has been the most surprising thing about marriage for you so far? 

I’m enjoying married life thoroughly. I really am. We were together some years before but it’s nice to be married and just have that connection and [say] “This is my husband,” “I’m your wife.” It just feels really, really good. And to be able to blend our families together and make it work and just be there for one another is such a great thing. My parents will celebrate 50 years of marriage in February 2023, and they have set the example for what I want my marriage to be.

What surprises me? People talk about the compromise of marriage, but yes, it’s real. From the smallest things, you have to take a moment and just think, “Okay, well, that’s not necessarily how I feel about it. Let’s discuss this and compromise.” It’s a real thing. 

I’m blessed to even be in this position to have to compromise because for so long, I didn’t really have to take anyone’s feelings into consideration other than the kids and parents. It’s a real thing and it’s a beautiful thing, but you know, it also has challenging moments and it has its amazing moments as well. 

What is a tip you would offer for people who are having to blend families?

Like I say in my book, just keep the best interest of the kids at the forefront, lead with love 100% and communicate. It could get hard. This is definitely a never-ending process, but you have to communicate and just keep the lines of communication open.

Integrating the kids, you just have to let them know that there are more people to love. Come from that aspect. That’s definitely what we did. And just take your time with it. I was blessed because right off, my kids Maddie and Mason loved [Heath’s kids] Gigi and Brianna. They just just love, love, love. It just worked out.

So just ease into it. You don’t want to push things on them. Just let them know that they’re loved, it’s more people to love and just like I said, start from a place of love and once they see that love, they see the examples that you guys give off. When they see that as positive, they’re gonna have fun and just love on one another.

TOPICS:  blended families love and relationships monyetta shaw rhoa
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