If you think back to your earliest memories of masturbation, what do you envision? You most likely started masturbating by doing syntribation. But what is it exactly? Essentially, syntribation is a form of masturbation that involves squeezing or rubbing the thighs together to climax.
According to sex expert Shamyra Howard, syntribation isn’t some complicated clinical act; it’s actually one of the sexiest, simplest forms of connection you’ve probably experienced without even knowing the name. This is a lot of women’s first sexual experience.
Syntribation is a fancy word for non-penetrative grinding. Yep, all that delicious, friction-filled, slow winding and body-pressing we often reduce to just “dry humping,” that’s syntribation. But don’t let the nickname fool you. There’s nothing juvenile about it when done with intention. Syntribation is a type of sex that shows how pleasure doesn’t have to be penetrative to be powerful. Syntribation centers sensation. It’s all about freeing your hands and using other parts of your body; your thighs, hips, belly, vulva, chest, and breath to create arousal through pressure and rhythm. It’s body to body, body to surface, magic. You can do it with a partner, solo, with a pillow, or however you want to ride your own rhythm.
For some people with vulvas, syntribation can actually be more satisfying than penetrative sex because it stimulates the clitoris exactly how they like it, externally, consistently, and with the right amount of pressure. For others, it’s a build-up tool that makes eventual penetration more intense (if that’s your thing). Either way, it’s sensual, safe, and doesn’t require penetration, nudity, or even a partner.
Sex expert and researcher, Dr. Candice Hargons and Shemeka Thorpe, led a study that included 242 Black women who shared their experiences with masturbation and the messages they received about it. Around 97% had masturbated in their lifetimes. On average, they started masturbating around age 15, but the ages of the first time they masturbated ranged from 3 to 50. “In my more recent survey of over 500 Black women in long-term relationships, I learned that 53.3% had masturbated with no sex toys (which can include syntribation) in the past 12 months, and 35% of the 500 said it was pleasurable, indicating that masturbation is a regular activity, even in committed relationships,” Hargons shared.
She believes that for many women, syntribation is one of the first ways young girls and women learned to masturbate. The practice includes masturbating with no hands, often squeezing thighs together or crossing legs in a way that feels enjoyable. “When they crossed their legs, they may have noticed pleasant genital sensations and kept doing it to see how good it could feel. They may have also used a pillow or blanket for extra stimulation. For some people, they learned to orgasm that way. This is an excellent option for masturbation when you are trying to be discreet or avoid touching your vulva. You can keep your clothes on if you prefer,” Hargons states.
She continues, “If you happen to have thicker thighs, it can make it easier to create the type of friction and stimulation needed to achieve an orgasm. It’s also a great way to increase arousal and lubrication during a date, if you’re planning to have sex after. You can be watching a movie, at dinner, or riding home with your date, while using syntribation techniques to get wet, stopping short of orgasm if you want to come during sex with them.”
What are the benefits of Syntribation?
According to Howard, there are many benefits to syntribation. “As a Sex Therapist, I’ve prescribed syntribation to clients who want to explore other forms of sexual intimacy on days when they don’t want to say no, but also don’t want to do too much. Syntribation is perfect for days when you want sexual closeness without penetration. I’ve also recommended syntribation to folks who want sexual intimacy without penetration, after childbirth, surgery, or healing from trauma. And for differently abled folks who have issues using their hands to masturbate,” she says.
She says another benefit of syntribation is that you can do it with your clothes on, decreasing the risk of contracting or spreading STI’s. “The biggest benefit of syntribation is that it’s free and accessible! You have everything you need to do it wherever you are,” Howard stated.
Here are a few ways to enjoy syntribation with or without a partner.
- Squeeze your thighs together in any motion that stimulates the outer clitoris. Flex your pc muscles (do kegels), and grind.
- With a partner, rub your outer clitoris against their thighs or other body parts. Grind.
- Squeeze a pillow or other soft object between your legs, and use your inner thighs to
Increase direct clitoral stimulation. Grind.
Howard’s “Use Your Mouth…” book model invites people to redefine what sex is and what sexual intimacy is. Syntribation helps us understand that sexual pleasure is a whole-body experience and worth exploring.