The Knowles women have laid down their heartache. Here’s how they’ve taught us to do the same.
The Knowles women aren’t giving us a break this year. First, Beyoncé showed us how she makes Lemonade from heartache with her surprise visual album. Ms. Tina keeps giving us our entire life on Instagram at @mstinalawson. Now Solange has us jamming and crying and jamming down the street with A Seat At the Table. We can’t let this moment pass without getting a dose of the Knowles’ most potent offering: how to heal.
The only way Beyoncé can continue to build sand castles with Jay Z and drop it on him at the final show of her Formation World Tour is to let go of the rage she let rip in “Hold Up.” The only way her mom Tina Knowles Lawson could enjoy a healthy and happy marriage with her hubby Richard Lawson is if she deleted the loop that played in her head of everything Mathew Knowles did and did not do. The only way Solange could sing about being sad, if she released shame about being sad. “It was so important to her to offer something that would bring about healing and hope to the universe,” shared Mama Tina about Lemonade on her IG. “No matter what you are going thru in life, you can always come out on the other side.” Here’s how to heal like a Knowles.
Name Your Pain
We cannot heal what we won’t address. Before we can transform our hurts, we first have to take a serious look at what we’ve been through. You get to address every hurt. One of the reasons A Seat at the Table wins is its acknowledgement of all of our emotions. “Mad” and “Weary” speak to our real pain and “Cranes in the Sky” details all the ways we try to mask and run from our emotions. You get to say out loud what has sucked about life from getting sick to heartache and regret.
Sift out the Good
Everything we’ve been though led us to this very moment and is building us for better. After you acknowledge what you’ve been through, comes the chance to release the bad and keep the lessons. During the video for “Daddy Lessons” on Lemonade Beyoncé included video of her as a little girl with her dad Mathew back in Texas then cuts to recent footage of him with her own daughter Blue Ivy. In between those clips their relationship went through highs and lows including her career exploding, her parents divorce and her taking over managing her own career from her dad. And their relationship survived the valleys and now extends to her daughter. Healing let’s us let go of what didn’t work.
Build Your Boundaries
In healing, we get to forgive ourselves for any time we’ve put ourselves in harm’s way and decide how people will treat us moving forward. Solange made the record Black women have been craving for generations with “Don’t Touch My Hair.” Taking ownership of our bodies and our happiness means we get to let others know what does and does not work for us. Some things are for us and by us. And in the reconciliation of Lemonade, Beyoncé let’s it be know this will be her last time forgiving indiscretions as she closes “Don’t Hurt Yourself” with “Try this sh*t again, you gon lose your wife.”
Lean on Love
One of the most boss moves of summer was seeing Ms. Tina Lawson wish Mathew Knowles a Happy Father’s Day on Instagram. It was the ultimate show of healing that Mama Tina had let go of any past pain from their divorce and appreciated what the relationship gave her: two daughters who slay the charts and our hearts. “They say true love’s the greatest weapon to win the war caused by pain,” Beyoncé crooned from “All Night” at her Atlanta Formation World Tour show. It’s her favorite song to sing from Lemonade. Anytime forgiving and healing feels like too much work, lean on love for yourself and the life you desire. It is our most powerful force.
Share Your Story
“If you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it,” Zora Neale Hurston told us. Yet too often Black women, especially those of us who the world thinks “have it together,” hide our heartache. The sweetest part of healing is it frees you from the sting of your experience – and any judgment of others. As you heal, share your journey with others like the Knowles women. Your testimony may be your million dollar business as Beyoncé and Solange flipped their pain into No. 1 albums. Best revenge is your paper.
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