Just as a love story is evolving, it sometimes ends abruptly. This has been the case for Sean Combs, popularly known as Diddy. As his ex-girlfriend Kim Porter’s four-year death anniversary fast approaches, Diddy sat down with artist Teyana Taylor on Bumble’s new bi-weekly YouTube series Luv2SeeIt’s to discuss finding love again.
“[We learn more from] losing love,” the 52-year-old said. “It’s the only way you kinda know how important it is. All the heartache that anybody’s ever been through. That’s the thing that really makes you appreciate the times you actually felt that and actually received that love. When you lose that unconditional love is when you put some respect on love’s name.”
Porter and Combs dated between 1993 and 2006, and had their share of highs and lows. Just a year after having their son King Combs, 24, in 1998 they broke up. The breakup was short-lived as they reconciled in 2003, and went on to have their twin daughters D’Lila and Jessie, 15. Despite their relationship eventually ending again due to Diddy impregnating another woman, the two seemed to have a close friendship and positive co-parenting relationship.
The Bad Boy Entertainment CEO and guru has often referred to Kim as his “soulmate”, and has publicly expressed how much he loves and misses the mother and model since her passing from lobar pneumonia in 2018.
“Just the other day, I just had got the courage to look at [Kim’s] old texts,” Diddy said to Taylor. “I shouldn’t have really did that. I was like, ‘Yo, I hope I can find somebody who can love me like that again.’ I’m not giving up on love, but it’s hard. A different level of heartbreak. Whenever I see the sun, I see God and I see Kim.”
Taylor followed up, asking Diddy whether he’s ready to begin the quest of finding love again and he admits he’s’ struggling but trying.
“I haven’t reached that place yet, but I haven’t given up, though,” Diddy said. “I haven’t given up. I know that Kim would want somebody to love me. Right now, I’m not on that time. It definitely puts up a lot of barriers for you because it hurts so much. The thing is, is to not give up on it and know when you’re ready because I’ve got to love myself. I’m not going to rush into something and it be a rebound situation and I’m trying to stop the pain. I’m open to it. I want to get my soul snatched. That’s what it’s going to take. Just a genuinely — love is really real.”
He adds, “I’m ready for some action and adventure. I’m ready to get swept off my feet.”
Since Kim’s passing, Diddy has been spotted with various women, but the most prominent has been Young Miami, one-half of the music group City Girls. They have been spotted together at various events and support one another’s careers publicly. The rapper even accompanied him on a family vacation to Capri, Italy over the summer. The two also work together as Young Miami, also known as Caresha, hosts a TV show called Caresha Please on his digital cable TV network, Revolt. Diddy has been a guest on the show, in which they disclose their relationship status as single but dating.
That said, Diddy says he is open to love and tells Taylor what his personal definition of love is.
“For me, love is really caring deeply, but unconditionally,” Diddy says. “Love is forgiving. Love is peace. I think nobody has hit the one true definition of it because it’s one of those things that can’t be put in a box. Love is like some godly thing.” The entrepreneur also admits that he’s not in the best position to speak on love.
“I’m trying to figure this s— out myself. I am a Scorpio. I’m way nicer than maybe I come off to be. I’m lovable, godly, cute, can party, [and] can hang.”
Everyone deals with grief differently, and some people have healthier ways of managing it than others. Diddy admits that initially, his approach to dating while grieving wasn’t the best.
“I did a bunch of rebound stuff and was definitely vulnerable,” the Ciroc Vodka owner adds, noting he had to go through that but is in a good place now. “My heart just wanted somebody to love me.”