TRIGGER WARNING: This content includes details regarding self-harm and suicidal ideation that may be difficult to read. Please prioritize your mental health and well-being.
Over the weekend, Grammy-nominated rapper Chika shared a lengthy note on her Instagram Story that raised concerns about her mental health and overall well-being.
In the statement, the Montgomery, Alabama-born rapper disclosed alarming details of a suicide attempt she didn’t go through with during her stay at the InterContinental Hotel in St. Paul, Minnesota, as well as suicidal thoughts.
“I went to the top of the intercontinental, but could not jump. Not because I don’t want to, but because the metal stairs were scary,” she wrote. “That’s the thing about having a f— up brain. No matter how much pain you’re in, there will always be something holding you back. It’s draining & sad. It looks like crying wolf, but it’s not. It’s just difficult to find the right way. The quickest way. the painless way. I am tired of myself too.”
The concerning note continued to share her grievances of being a “cautionary tale of sorts” and the result of “what happens when no one listens. what happens when you leave a broken person to their own devices.”
She followed up that message with comments on Twitter about a severe panic attack she was experiencing on a flight that was giving her great anxiety. She once again mentioned not wanting to be around, but this time, because of how debilitating her panic attack was. “Like i deadass wanna die rn, she wrote, “not even being hyperbolic. i’d be so relieved if my heart just stopped.”
“I’ve been having a silent panic attack for 2 hours pls excuse my tweets,” she wrote, continuing the gut-wrenching message. “I need to let it out or i will actually lose it on this flight & i refuse to be that person.”
By March 27, TMZ reported that police attempted a welfare check on Chika following her messages, “only to discover she wasn’t home” at her North Hollywood residence. Following that story, a concert she was preparing for was canceled and it seems she was temporarily hospitalized. She took to her social media to share an update that she was “alive. wanna go home.” She added that she was “leaving the hospital. not that i should care about updating anyone besides family. i just wanna be left alone, if that’s okay. i appreciate the prayers and stuff. Thanks.”
The chilling statements made by Chika are just one of many examples of public pleas for help that shouldn’t be ignored. While she wasn’t pleased with the barrage of messages and worry, we’re glad to know the end result of it all is that she is ok.
If you or someone you know are struggling or showing signs of potential self-harm, please contact the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.