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When I was pregnant, experienced moms shared information with me about how painful labor is and the sleepless nights that were to come. In addition to that, I was told that breastfeeding was good for kids and assumed it would be easy. I quickly realized that was a myth when my son was born and I attempted to breastfeed him. Not only was he struggling to properly latch, but breastfeeding was also so excruciatingly painful that I would have his father dig his nails into my shoulders to distract me. I heard very little beforehand about the potential challenges of breastfeeding and what to do when things don’t go as planned.
Breastfeeding is, indeed, a rich form of nutrition for babies, which is why it’s encouraged for new moms. However, Black moms disproportionately experience barriers to breastfeeding for reasons like a lack of education in healthcare settings and peer support. Because there are racial disparities in breastfeeding, it’s important for Black women to discuss breastfeeding and debunk myths that could pose as barriers. ESSENCE spoke to a few lactation specialists to do just that.
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Myth #1: Breastfeeding Doesn’t Hurt
I quickly learned that every mom’s breastfeeding experience is different and that means it may hurt for some moms while it may not hurt at all for others. My son wasn’t latching on properly, and even when the nurse said he was, it was still unbearably painful for me. So much so that I started mix feeding (supplementing with formula) within the first month because I couldn’t bear multiple breastfeeds a day. Nichelle Clark, a lactation consultant, breastfeeding specialist, and community lactivist in Chesapeake, Va. says breastfeeding isn’t always painless.
“Breastfeeding is always touted as being natural and therefore, easy,” she tells ESSENCE. “It takes a lot of work. While breastfeeding should not be painful (if you experience pain, you should contact a lactation professional immediately), parents often experience discomfort from things like shallow latch, oral restrictions (tongue, lip, and cheek ties), positioning issues, improper pump flange fit, and much more.”
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Myth #2: Breastfeeding Makes Your Breasts Sag
Another myth out there about breastfeeding is that it makes your breasts sag. This was certainly a fear of mine, and post-birth, gravity has done its thing.
This is something that keeps moms from breastfeeding and its untrue, says Emerald Hill Rice, a board certified lactation consultant, director of lactation services, and YouTube vlogger located in Raleigh, NC.
“Many mothers choose not to breastfeed believing that they will later need a breast augmentation,” she says. “If breasts sag, it’s typically due to a mother becoming pregnant, gaining weight and her skin’s natural elasticity being the cause for sagging. If your breasts sag, it will most likely be caused by gaining weight during pregnancy and not due to breast changes after delivery.”
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Myth #3: You’re a Bad Mother If You Don’t Breastfeed
Whether you choose to breastfeed or give your baby formula, know that breastfeeding isn’t a measure for how good of a mother you are. I did feel shame when I started to mix feed my son because it felt like I was depriving him of nutrients specially made for him. It felt like giving up because it was too painful meant I was a bad mom.
These feelings of shame that arise when you’re unable to breastfeed are common according to Rice.
“Moms can combat that feeling by remembering that they were trusted to carry their baby and protect them, provide nourishment and love them even while pregnant. Moms are to remember that feeding a baby, either with breast milk or substitute, are the only ways to feed their babies and that when a baby is satiated and protected, the mother is doing her best,” she says.
The lactation consultant also recommends surrounding yourself with supportive people who will remind you that you’re doing just fine.
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Myth #4: Breastfeeding Restricts You and Makes Baby Clingy
Have you ever heard moms complain that nobody else can watch their newborn because they’re breastfeeding around the clock? Some even say the baby will end up clingy due to breastfeeding. According to Rice, this is also false.
“Many mothers are able to express milk while away from the baby and provide the baby with breast milk via bottle or cup while still being able to work, shop or enjoy a date night,” she says. “There are many ways to ensure that a baby is provided with breast milk while mom is still able to enjoy the things that she has always done.”
I used a pump and stored milk in the fridge when I needed to go out without my son. However, it was time-consuming to pump at the rate my son was drinking milk and sometimes I wasn’t producing enough. That was another reason I relied on formula to supplement the breast milk and make life easier for me. That said, there are ways to pump and store milk so your baby can receive breast milk while you’re at work, the grocery store, or out getting your groove back.
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Myth #5: Breastfeeding Is the Only Way to Bond With Your Newborn
Seeing intimate pictures of moms embracing their babies while breastfeeding can make you feel like breastfeeding is the primary and most important way to bond. Clark says that’s incorrect.
“Responsive parenting is the best way to bond with baby,” she tells ESSENCE. “Holding them, baby wearing, snuggling them, contact naps, playing with them are all amazing ways to bond with your tiny human. My daughter likes to slap and do gymnastics while nursing. Not a lot of bonding during that time,” Clark laughs.
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Myth # 6: Every Mom Can Breastfeed
Not every mom can produce milk, so we shouldn’t assume every mom can breastfeed. While most women do have the ability to nurse in that way, some may have challenges, Rice says.
“Some women face the challenge of insufficient glandular tissue or have other anatomical concerns that can impact supply,” she explains. “But most women have the ability to breastfeed as long as there are no contraindicating variables.”
Other conditions and circumstances that could stop moms from breastfeeding include being HIV-positive, polycystic ovary syndrome, or undergoing chemotherapy.
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Myth #7: Breast Milk Is the Best Option
While breast milk is undeniably a great source of nutrients for babies, it isn’t the only one or necessarily the best one. Clark explains that as a mom, your needs matter too, so it’s equally about what works for you. “A healthy and happy parent is always ideal for baby,” she says. “Human milk is nature’s perfect food for a human baby; but until we dismantle the systemic barriers moms face with breastfeeding, we can’t say it’s always best for baby. When we only focus on [the] baby, we remove the parents from the experience and they are actually the biggest part. Informed parents are always best for [the] baby.“
